Tuesday 28 December 2010

What Happened to Stargate Universe?

Stargate Universe.
What happened?

Well I wish I could say I didn't see it coming, but I did. Stargate Universe is dead and there's no chance of resurrection. With it the Stargate franchise has ended. Rather than let it sail into the sunset I'm going to pick it apart like our butchered Christmas Turkey when looking for parts to make a new years curry So if you'll indulge me let's see why:-

First of all, the production company was owned by MGM. MGM has been in financial trouble for years, cancelling production on James Bond and any number of other projects, including SG-1 and Atlantis. Looking for low cost, high income projects. Hence the SG-1 TV movies and suggested Atlantis movie. It's all because MGM didn't have the the money they needed.
Well not quite. MGM was in trouble when it commissioned Universe so there must have been the chance somewhere. SGU had a lot on its shoulders, it was pretty much carrying MGM's entire TV output. Which it turns out was a bad idea.

How about the Voyager problem. After twelve years the same creative team burns out, it needed fresh blood and ideas. Atlantis scraped by because it was a different beast. While it shared a lot of ideas with the original show there was a lot of fresh angles involved. In the end it was more action than comedy, opposed to SG-1 which was comedy over action. In spite of several flaws Atlantis was a good show.
That was part of it, but they did try to get around it by pulling a Voyager. Stranding the show in a distant part of the universe, with a dysfunctional crew and a unstable command structure. Sci-fi fans, well known for their laid back attitude and lack of anything resembling continuity knowledge completely missed that. Oh wait, no they didn't, and Science fiction fans are usually an intelligent and observant bunch. Idiots.

Finally Voyager wasn't the only show SGU stole ideas from. They took the overly moronic and soap Opera like "characters" from Battlestar Galactica, Hell they even stole the abbreviation. Originally it was SG-A and SG-1 with the hyphen involved All of a sudden it vanished. Along with the humour, wit and originality SG-1 had.
Back in the day SG-1 wasn't the best show on, but it was fun. They had a laugh and enjoyed themselves. What I hated about Battlestar was the lack of humour, no one had fun. It was too dark.

This is what killed the show in my opinion. The compete absence of anything resembling Stargate. If we wanted crappy soap opera like people doing things that not only morally repulse us, but drive us to drinking lighter fluid I'll stick to Battlestar. Universe was pointless and dull, there was nothing likeable from the characters. No goodness or promise. We have open rebellions, affaires, social isolation, wilful ignorance and an unwillingness to listen to other people's points of view.

I don't watch Science fiction to watch unlikeable people, I watch escapist fiction to escape from petty minded small people and hope that one day fools and madmen like those shown here are gone for good. The reason I accept outlandish successes from small specialised bands, like the SG-1 team, is that they work together. They compliment each others strengths and weakness and don't have to spend half an hour ranting about the heart of the cards or what not.

When you reinvent a series you can't just throw everything you had out of the window. with more than Ten years of backstory and building up a die hard fan base you don't just ignore them for the sake of a few ideas you think might work in a different show.

Stargate Universe was a failure, and should be ignored. I join my voice with the fans that want more Atlantis episodes.

Alright this seems to be picking up a lot of comments, after some thought I made a fairer overview of the show here:- http://mountainscrapbook.blogspot.com/2011/05/stargate-universe-continued.html

Saturday 18 September 2010

Vulcans Part 3

As I pointed out in the last part Tuvok was badly handled, miss managed to the point that he wasn't really Vulcan. He was more a generic alien, the sort you saw passing in the corridor of Next Generation and wondered if they were going to have an impact later or just be wallpaper.
Tuvok himself wasn't really explored either. We're told things about him, but other than a few episodes he doesn't do much. When he does get a chance to shine it turns out he is in Janeway's pocket. He doesn't have his own opinions and views, simply carrying out the captain's wishes. When some of his background was (eventually) fleshed out we learnt that he wasn't a perfect Vulcan, favouring emotions over logic as a child and finding the process of suppressing them difficult. The only result of this seemed to be a tendency to be the first in the crew to succumb to telepathic attacks and a case of shyness about his age.

Early on there was some hope, when he was helping Kes develop her mental powers, it offered some interesting moments. Vulcan physic abilities didn't come with any explanation or background, watching him train someone would have given some insight into the process. Were some stronger than others? Was it simply genetic instinct or was there specific training required? What was the limits, was physical contact necessary or was it just one level? Were there such a thing as Vulcan's with telekinetic powers? Just how important was the logical order of a Vulcan's intellect to the process, could emotional outbursts interfere or even block a mind meld?
Exploring this aspect of Vulcan society would have been thought provoking and fun. Instead most of Kes's training happend off screen. When we did see something it was often provoked by outside influence and was stopped, not by training, but by intervention. Tuvok was at one time burnt due to his own incompetence and the monster of the week.

This lack of understanding in Voyager wasn't restricted to the Vulcans. It was a lack of understanding about Star Trek as a whole that scuppered Voyager and outright sunk Enterprise. But let's take a step back and look at Deep Space Nine.
I jumped over the third trek series because there was only one episode that dealt with Vulcans, and it was perhaps the first nail in their coffin.
The episode was "Take me out To the Holosuite", from DS9's last season. In it a Vulcan captain, of a ship crewed entirely of Vulcans, re-lights a bitter rivalry with Sisko. The Vulcan Captain goes out of his way to antagonise Sisko for no reason other than profesional jealousy.
Read that again, and remember that Vulcan's have supposedly repressed all their emotions. Now I'm not suggesting that a Vulcan can't have difficulties suppressing pride, in point of fact it is in itself an interesting development. The problem is that an entire crew, more than five hundred of them, would go along with it. One or two egotistical Vulcans is natural, especially with the existence of the Kolinahr ritual, a Vulcan religious ritual to finally purge all emotions rather than simply surpress them, but to have a whole ship's full of them is stupid.
Here's why:- if I was going to prove my superiority over someone I'd do so by proving my way was better. Not by beating them at their own game. It's logical to prove that you are better because of who you are, not because you can play baseball better than someone you don't like. The Vulcan Captain, Solok, not only goes out of his way to learn the game, and train crew to play it, but out right seeks Sisko out to challenge him. We're told that he has spent years on this petty rivalry, writing several papers analysing a drunken bar fight the two of them got in to after he insulted Sisko.
Thats not all, when the DS9 team lose they celebrate a good game (and that Rom scored a run) by invading the pitch and having a grand old knees up in the bar afterwards. And this infuriates Solok.
This isn't the actions of an enlightened race, there is nothing Vulcan about this captain. Not one thing. In contrast in one of the early episodes of the original series the script originally called for Spock to punch the evil copy of Kirk, knocking him out with a right cross. Leonard Nimoy, the actor playing Spock, pointed out that a punch was too crude and primitive for the logical Vulcan and invented the infamous Neck Pinch on the spot.

By the end of of their appearance on Deep Space Nine Vulcans had been ruined. They had, in one spectacular episode, been reduced to petty, vindictive and bordering on racist parodies of everything a Vulcan wasn't. but it gets worse...

to be continued

Sunday 5 September 2010

Vulcans Part 2

Now don't get me wrong, I think that cultures should develop, especially invented ones, but that change has to have a reason. In or out of cannon. With the later Star Trek shows there was a distinct change in Vulcan culture that went the wrong way for no reason. It was almost as if the Writers at the time didn't know what to do with them or how to handle Vulcans when they did try.

Before I jump into the meat of the problem in the next section I'm going to prove my point with a bit of background on Voyager. I am also going to present what went wrong with Star Trek Voyager and how I would have fixed it or done better.
Voyager's problem was, to put it simply, that the show was nothing more than a mediocre retread of any one of a hundred ideas already explored better elsewhere. It was bland and dull at the best of times, hideously insulting at the worse. What makes this so galling is that the premise was sound; a ship is lost at the far end of the cosmos with no way home, with two crews that are forced to work together despite their differences, making new friends, new enemies and new discoveries as they struggle to get home, an impossible distance away.
With a premise like that it's rather hard to fail, there is so much potential available:- Who's to say that what we perceive as Universal laws are the same? What new dangers face the crew in unexplored space? Can they learn to set aside their problems and work together? Can the inexperienced captain, freshly promoted from a promising science officer, handle the pressures of being in command? The scope and development potential promised a great show with some interesting twists.
Instead we were patronised with a combination of Technobabble and mind numbingly tedium. There was nothing new or interesting. Very little development carried from episode to episode. Whenever there was a disaster it was quickly forgotten, any resources the ship needed, or issues with equipment that was never supposed to last that long without maintenance, that did arrise were fixed between episodes. The unification of the two crews was solved with one or two episodes early on, without any friction to speek of.
While there was one or two tweaks and moments I could enjoy it was just a mediocre show written for a pay check by tired and overworked hack writers.
The Holographic Doctor, Kes and later Seven of Nine all had the promise to be break-out characters. We could explore their issues and independent development within the show and learn a lot about them.The Doctor had some very good scenes and a good arc to him. Mostly that came from Robert Picardo's excellent performance but the writers did, on occasion, make use of that talent. Kes was practically useless and her leaving mid way through the show was hardly surprising. As for Seven of Nine, well there's a reason a lot of reviewers argue that it became "The Seven of Nine show, featuring Seven of Nine."
I'm not saying Jeri Ryan is a bad actress, but the writers were far more interested in squeezing her into a corset and skintight catsuit, slapping a pair of high heals on the blonde bombshell and have her strut for every pre-pubescent male in the audience.

The reason I'm going over all this is that in the middle of it all we had Tuvok. The token Vulcan security officer to remind everyone this was Star Trek. Now if we went back to the premise I outlined earlier Tuvok would have been Janeway's adviser. The man she would turn to when it looked bleak and she couldn't find a way out. He could have been the logical pragmatist to temper Janeways idealist nature. His suggestions the glue that held the fragile alliance between Federation and Marquis together. It would have been logical and help expand the understanding of Vulcans influence in the Federation.

This was, in hindsight, a major disservice to Gene Roddenberry's vision. Humanity always seemed to be the driving force behind the Federation, everyone else felt like they were junior partners. Turning up every so often as the script demanded it. Every development and improvement was human lead, far from being multi-cultural it felt like other races were there simply to add to the head count. If it was up to the Vulcan to smooth tensions between the idealist Federation and the sceptical Marquis we could have returned to the same sort of trio we had in the original. Making Voyager a character based drama, opposed to the technobabble filled disappointment it ended up as.

This would have been the perfect opportunity to show Vulcan's place in the Federation. Playing to the strengths developed over the previous two shows and keeping in touch with the wider Star Trek Universe. Instead, as I said before, Tuvok was included as nothing more than a token head nod to the original show. His impact was negligible and could have been filled by any species in Trek without meny changes to the character. To make things worse whatever episodes he had to expand his character showed him to be a less than perfect Vulcan. Suffering from psychotic episodes, emotional turmoil, repressed memories imprinted by a psychic parasite and even going as far as braking under torture (something Vulcan mental disciplines prevent, it is stated several times in the original show that to do so would kill them)
The only reason Tuvok was a Vulcan was to remind us that we were watching Star Trek. An effort that marked the beginning of the end.

To be continued

Monday 30 August 2010

Vulcans

All right then, take a deep breath because I'm going to explore one of the older alien races in Science Fiction. The Vulcans. Let's get something clear, I love the old vulcan culture that was created. It was interesting and utterly alien. What I want to do here is outline that culture and then explore where it all went wrong.

Very early on Gene Roddenberry realised that it would cost far too much, and would be impractical at the time, to make an actor physically alien enough to be both believable and reasonable. He needed alien crew members to help with the multicultural aspect of the Federation, a big part of the anti-rasism message of the show, but he had to do it cheaply and effectively. It was probably about then that it occurred to him; if culture was more important than aspect you didn't need the character to look alien. It just needed to come from a culture that was.
With that thought firmly in mind you can develop any number of races without much difficulty. Pointy ears, lumpy foreheads and wrinkled noses are Star Trek short hand for alien. Those features are a visual motif that lets the audience know someone is an alien, nothing more. It's supposed to be a sign that they are part of a culture other than human, without spending insane amounts on makeup. It's the creation of that culture that makes them alien and up to the actors to pull it off. That makes them interesting.
Episodes that explored the characters and the culture they came from and expanded their boundaries were among the best Star Trek had to offer. Often being the most remembered.

Vulcans were the first race we met and their culture was about as alien as they could make it. Humanity is passionate and driven by emotions, in fact if there is one single truth to our being it is that. Our hopes and dreams are at what drive us to achieve, what makes us want to reach for the stars. To find companionship; friends, lovers, family, whatever. It almost isn't possible to think of a more alien way to live than without hope. It's an emotion, the same as any other. Just like curiosity. The two reasons we wanted to go into space in the first place.
Vulcans have suppressed their emotions, they see them as dangerous and unpredictable. In fact it was only their "Awakening" that prevented their emotional outbursts from obliterating their race in a nuclear war. This is our first indication that Vulcans are a race of extremes, they went from extreme emotional turmoil to frozen logic. Logic itself is a series of positive and negatives. Black and white. Again extremes that are polar opposites.
Humans aren't anything like that, we live in a gray world and in someways that's a lot more difficult. We often get lost amongst the way but we stumble through. Vulcans are focused to the point of tunnel vision.
As such the Vulcan ideal is a wonderful foil for our own development. Now as most high art functions as a mirror for our own culture that just adds to the fun. In this equation The Vulcans become our mirror opposites, the "yin" to our "yang" as it were.

Summing up a typical Vulcan is easy, they're logical and very intelligent. Capable of making complex calculations and observations at fantastic speeds, however they are incapable of intuitive leaps. Without emotions they are unable to relate to meny other species, especially humans. Humans on the other hand are put off by the fact Vulcans never smile, tell jokes, or interact socially. This makes them a balanced creation that aren't perfect, it adds diversity and intrigue. Their very strength becomes a weakness in certain circumstances.

It was that dichotomy that lead to McCoy's continuous prodding of Spock. From a writers perspective it grounded the science officer, from a character perspective it helped them bond. It wasn't racism, even if it came close, but a friendly jibe. Spock's response to this was pure vulcan logic, delivering needle sharp observations that punctured the Doctors observations and comments. It was also this relationship, between the emotional and very much human McCoy and the cold logic of Spock, that helped make Kirk awesome.
Stick with me on this, Spock and McCoy were the angel and the devil on Kirk's shoulders. Advising him from opposing view points. It was Kirk's ability to carve a unifying perspective between the two that was the punch line of the whole show. The goal of the metaphor behind the Federation. We are better uniting in our differences than struggling against them.

Alright, now we've gotten to the bottom of that. lets move on to something more recent. Next Generation. Rather than re-tread over where the Original went with the Vulcans they focused on the Klingons (something I might go into later), but they didn't abandon Vulcans entirely. You would often see them walking up and down corridors. The occasional supporting role and guest also cropped up, most importantly Sarak, Spock's Father.
Building on the development from the original series next gen dealt with an unfortunate side effect of the Vulcan's abilities. As they were not only physically stronger but in possession of powerful mental abilities as well as their mathematical prowess it was perceived that they were superior to humans.
With a list of advantages like that they needed another flaw than, unimaginative and long winded. As such a number of uniquely Vulcan disorders were created. Not least Sarek's disability, a very vulcan problem that strips away their emotional control with advanced age. A few others turned up but it added to the people a roundness that wasn't explored very often in the original show, even if it was there

Then another facet came about in a two part episode from next gen's last season called Gambit. A Vulcan separatist movement, believing that contact with other species, including humans, was corrupting their pure vulcan culture attempted to gain control of Vulcan. With the aim to declare independence and leave the Federation. On it's own it's not that big an issue, but combined with a couple of other problems it sketches out a interesting issue.
Piecing together a lot of incidental evidence scattered across next Gen and the original series it's possible to deduce that Vulcans are very conservative. They appear hidebound to obscure customs and forms, their dress doesn't seem to change much from monk like robes and even their hair cuts are the same for more than three hundred years. This is a very interesting aspect, because once again the Humans of the Federation are liberals. Striving for the future while Vulcans are still buried in the past. Once again two opposing forces that counter act against each other, achieving a balance.

If the development of the Vulcans ended there that would have been enough, unfortunately it didn't.

To be Continued....

Monday 19 July 2010

Special Effects Vs Plot

A long time ago, in a galaxy not that far away... Alright this one... A creative medium was devised. They called it writing. With it creators were able to translate their imaginations on to pages of paper. After years, dacades and even centuries the writers polished their craft. They began to write rules of storytelling, using them as crative ways to tell stories that taught valuable lessons. Morality tales reminding us how to act, giving us heroes to idolise and ideals to live up to.

After that things changed, we had comics, actors, radio and then moving image. All of them diluting the purity of imagination. Up until that point that was all we had, our own imaginations. Everything else is someone else's impressions of what is happening. This, by the way, is one of the problems with films adapted from books, but we're not here to rant about that.

Up until now those developments (radio, stage ect) had a valid goal. It brought the creative vision closer to what was intended. What it took from us with one hand it gave us with the other. This is where the arument about novel adapations gets interesting and I dodge that paticular bullet.

That's because the one I've got in my teeth at the moment is pointless effects. I'm talking explosions, flashing lights, useless 3D work and basicaly everything that happened to the Star Wars Special Editions. A good story doesn't need these, in fact all a good story needs is; well realised characters, a thought out plot and some thinking. Dreaming up an idea with a check list isn't creative, its a task.

Often whole senarios exist simply for the trailer, witty one liners and grandios vistas written for no reason other than trick bums on seats. The story is hurt by this.

Worst of all is the 3D effects. Its pointless, never worked right and as Avatar showed is often used as an excuse for lack of story

Monday 5 July 2010

Dune The film

And again I reply to a video review from one of the team over at TGWTG, still no one reads this and I need a place to vent!

Lindsay Ellis, otherwise known as the nostalgia chick, has posted a review of Dune. Reviewing Dune is sort of like clubbing a starving seal to death with a frozen, week old, dead fish. You know it stinks from a mile away, but you can't help but be drawn to the spectacle. David Lynch is very good at directing his own works. Seriously, go and watch the disturbing Blue Velvet if you don't believe me. It's beautifully strange, with moments that range between pure madness and terribly serene. On the other hand Dune, train wreck that it is, is unique in sci-fi.

Every scene is unique, and not because of bad pacing but from it's own goals. Never before (and not until Farscape) had a science fiction universe been so richly portrayed. The imagery and vision behind it required just the sort of madman that David Lynch is. Even the clunky acting and stilted dialogue (the latter unavoidable, but I'll get to that) can't detract from the fact there is still nothing like Dune out there.

Neo-gothic and post modern architecture. Impossibly realised ships and hideous navigators are all included to flesh out the over all impression. The goal of this film, as with all of Lynch's work, is to immerse the viewer in the world created and if you can spare the effort to accept that its not that bad.

Now on to what galls me the most, her views on the Spice. it isn't a Macguffin. That's reserved for things like the money in Psycho. It gets the plot moving and provides a goal for a few characters but can be completely forgotten in the overall plot. The Spice is a vital art of the film. First of all it is the main reason Arakis is so important, second it is what helps bond the Fremin with the Worms, making them desert survivalists. It's what the whole story revolves around. A macguffin has no bearing on the plot, Spice is the whole point of the movie and the book.

Right here we get to the main problem with the film. The book is a text medium, is designed to be read, not watched. Your supposed to have time to understand and absorb what is presented to you. More importantly it takes longer to read because there is more to it. Instead of forcing a viewer to watch it in a couple of hours you can spend days reading a book. The reader can put the book down, have a cup of tea and let things settle in. They can re-read paragraphs and ponder their meaning. Most importantly there is more room to develop characters. As I alluded to earlier a great deal of dialogue was forced simply to cover up massive plot holes generated by chucking whole chapters of the book into the bin. A lot of plot points and plot holes were addressed if you took the time to read the novel and it's sequels.

Concepts that were glossed over (Paul Atreides existence as the second coming or "the voice of God" Muad'Dib) actually make sense if you read the books. Lynch knew this and that what was behind the Alan Smithee moniker.

A bit of back story Ellis missed was just why Lynch agreed to direct this film. Originally the studio snapped up the rights to produce the film without a director or script. Panicking that they had the rights to an award wining book but nothing else they approached a popular art director of the time (Lynch having won praise for his work in The Elephant man and Eraserhead as an art film producer/director) to do the award winning novel justice. Lynch agreed, but only if he could produce Blue Velvet. That's right the whole reason he was attached to Dune was so that he could get the budget required to make Blue Velvet.

After spending untold millions on Dune Lynch ran out of money. He was trying to produce a true and honest adaptation (making the film five or six hours according to some reports) but the studio simply could not afford to pay for something that long. Whole acts were simply thrown away before they were filmed and in the end of the day the studio released the film without Lynch signing off on it. Incomplete, half edited and ridiculously over budget. Lynch is still not happy with the results today and even after being given the go ahead for a directors cut years ago deliberately removed his name from the production.

So why does it have such a cult following. Like a train crash, or a horribly disfiguring incident with a wood-chipper and a cement mixer it's morbid curiosity. You can't help but love the honest failure that is Dune. Everything that could go wrong did on a project that was doomed from the start. It should never have been made, the novels are far to complex to be condensed into a film, or even a series of films

Lord of the Rings, perhaps the best conversion from novel trilogy to film franchise, cut whole characters from the plot. Chapters of character development was either removed or cut and paste elsewhere for pacing and because of this it succeeded where most failed.

Still Dune is entertaining, simply because it is so bad. It's flaws make it great. Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show if it was perfect it wouldn't be as entertaining. This is a film you should watch with your mates and a few drinks. Doing a serious review of this isn't worth it. When fans, like myself, quote it it's out of celebration of it's bad dialogue.

And with that I end this. "Long live the fighters!"

Sunday 4 July 2010

The Last Airbender Film

If anyone read my post on Avatar; the Legend of Aang they would know... who am I kidding no one read it.

Lets put it simply, I liked it and still do. It's one of the best and most creative animated shows of the past ten years. The best thing is that even though it was supposed to be written for children it doesn't talk down to the viewer, meaning that you can enjoy it whatever your age. It's a source of annoyance to me that producers think that because it's for younger people they can get away with crap. The "Oh they won't notice, they're kids" attitude isn't good. It encourages people to not think, which is wrong on every level.

Another attitude that I don't like is the "Quick pull out a pointless adaptation to get more money in. Forget creativity." Now I'm not so naive to think that money isn't important but there is a point where you can re-imagine and recreate something which doesn't insult the original. For example Evil Dead II was basically a remake of the first film, but with a budget. The V for Vendetta film, if separated from the comic that spawned it, is a reasonable film with some solid performances.

Given the cult success of the cartoon amongst adults as well as the children it was only a matter of time before some greedy producer green lit the film. The first warning came when I thought:- 'How are they going to condense such a broad series into three relatively short films' The answer was obvious. Butcher it like cattle being slaughtered for Macdonalds burgers. Then I heard who the director was and that was the last nail in the coffin for me

Well I planned to avoid it like the plague and from the reviews that was the right choice. Every review I've read or seen has torn it apart. There isn't much doubt this is a contestant for worst movie of the year, but if I've not seen it why am I reviewing it.

Well I'm not, I'm just saying to the world, if anyone will listen, forget the film and pick up the show. Please don't let this awful money grubbing attempt distract from a worthwhile and clever show.

Saturday 26 June 2010

The Big Bang, Doctor Who series 5 final episode

"This is where it gets complicated!"

That wasn't an understatement, but there is a much better one right from the start. "Here we go". Speaking of the start that is where we go, right from the very first scene. Both in this episode and the story as a whole. It has long been a belief of mine that each series of new who has been one single adventure, but never before has this been so true. Up until this serise it's only ever been a single theme, or handful of words. Like "Bad Wolf" they cropped up in every episode like sign posts to the grand finale but that was it.

Russel T. Davis was wonderful at pulling plot develoment out of his arse. It was up to the Doctor to fire exposition at warp speed to cover the plot holes. It was fun but irritating in the long run. Steven Moffat has learnt from this mistake and crafted the whole series to the final moments.

Technology, like the Daleks robot professor in their episode and the faux top floor in the Lodger filler episode, relyed on intentions as much as actions. Ideas and concepts that have been brewing all year pay off in under an hour. Moments that made no sense at the time (the episode Forest of the Dead if you want to look one of the biggest up) were all set up to pay off in one epic episode.

We got it. No cheap ending or magic plot set macguffin. Yes there was a reset button, but it came from the story. It had a reason and made sense. It worked because of that. There was a deep understanding of the charicters. All of them, not just the Doctor.

Oh this was fun, not just good but fun. Entertaining, a whole series where you could be moved and enjoy events as they happened. It taxed your mind in ways other shows can't.

Ohh this was too good. Impossibly good. What a great show and a fantastic serise, it just gets better and better.

Though the best thing it's open ended. Like all good stories it leaves you asking what's next? What took control of the TARDIS? and just who is River Song?

Indiscraibably awesome. Now if you excuse me I have to watch it again!

Tuesday 22 June 2010

Imaination

Alright As you probably know I spend a lot of my time watching online reviewers. I love the amount of effort, planning and work these guys put in to it. For some people, like Spoony (AKA Noah Antwiler) and the Nostalgia Critic (Doug Walker) it's their jobs. week in and week out they produce these things. Some are funny, some are thoughtful but most of all they are honest creative endeavours.

I enjoy their work immensely, so much so that every so often I try my own take and if you look hard enough you'll even find my prototype video here. The thing is among these people there is James Rolf, AKA the Angry Video Game Nerd and I occasionally watch his video's too. On monday he posted this and it reminded me of something. I've always been able to remember my first nightmare, and much like his it's inspired my creativity. Mostly through writing opposed to his video out put but it's on the same wavelength.

It was the first night in my own room, I have no idea how old I was at the time, I was so exited. I had a bed rather than a crib, I could stretch, throw myself about, roll, jump and do whatever I wanted. Naturally I conked out before five minutes passed by. The dream was absolutely uninspired, at the start, I just dreamed that the room was bigger. A lot bigger, like the walls had retreated away from me. The half light from the street outside my window cast orange shadows across the room and I began to see things moving in them. Dark terrible things clawing their way out of some unimaginable black void. Gargoyles warped and twisted out of the walls like monstrous cracks in the wall.

There I was, nothing but a blanket between me and stone faced minions of hell. I ran, I ran out of my room and into the hall but it wasn't my house anymore. I could still see the familiar familiar bookshelves and the stairs, but they had moved. Like a jigsaw puzzle that had been put together wrong. The imps and daemons came closer, pouring into existence like a disease. Their shadows in the half light withering paper and ageing it like the passing of aeons.

My parents room was gone, the only hope was to escape, but before I could one of the shadows touched me... and I woke up.

Needless to say I didn't get any more sleep that night.

It wasn't as impressive as Rolf's dragon, but it had a hell of an impact on me. I've grown to love that sort of imagery, the stuff that goes beyond what CGI can do and talks directly to your imagination, tapping into that primal thought deep within you. Not locked on the other side of the screen or imaginary pixels dancing to some program running across a hard drive. There always is and always will be something more physical about books and their connection to the reader.

Sunday 20 June 2010

Doctor Who:- The Pandorica Opens...

Well as much as I'd like to hide the spoilers I guess the cat's out of the bag for the first half end of the season two part-er. Hell, if I know about it you can be sure everyone else has heard. Being the last to know just about everything has some advantages.

Well to sum up: the Pandorica was a great big mouse trap, with Amy's memories, including Rory, as the bait. Fearing the greatest warrior and trickster in the known universe the Doctor's enemies have allied together to defeat him once and for all. Ironically it is his very incarceration that lets a mysterious force take control of the TARDIS and destroy it. Taking every star in the universe with it in a massive shockwave.

Oh and Amy's dead.

Yep that sums up the cliffhanger at the end of the twelfth episode the internet has been awash with speculation. Ideas range from "It's all a dream, it has to be the work of the Dream Lord!" to "Amy regenerates, she's really the Doctor's daughter!" and even "It's all a plan by the Master!" Quite frankly I'll be surprised if it's any of those. First of all it isn't going to be a dream. No chance, this isn't Battlestar Galactica or Lost, we're going to get a explanation that makes sense and isn't a total cop out. On that note Amy's still got a role to play, she might be resurrected somehow, but that's not what I mean. The fact her life has so many unanswered questions is going to be VERY important. I just don't know what and that's what I'm waiting for.

This was, yet again, a fantastic episode, yes I do wonder how long Cybermen have been able to spit knock out darts and that whole sequence did feel like padding, but that was the only speed bump. What more than makes up for that is the wonderfully dark moment where the Doctor truly falls into the trap.

With all the ships of his greatest enemies flying around Stonehenge the Doctor, in an epic show of bravado, stands unarmed and alone slap bang in the middle of the greatest armada in all the universes. He forces them all to back down and retreat. Only the Doctor could do that and it's an epic moment. Right up until the twist ending, alright it wasn't much of a twist as even I saw it coming, but what I didn't see was the alliance. The Doctor isn't forcing them to back off, they're just waiting for the pandorica to do it's job. It's an epic moment that upon re-watching becomes a pivotal one, for all the wrong reasons.

One of the few complaints I've heard about the episode comes from how the Doctor finds out about it. We get a fun little opening where we visit all the Doctors previous encounters. Starting with Vincent VanGogh painting a warning, that's the key. The Alliance sends the message and while the TARDIS doesn't detect it the Doctor's friends do and they get it to him, but why doesn't he hear it earlier? Answer:- because the transmission happens as part of the Doctor's own timeline, and we follow that timeline. Simple, sort of. It is the same with Torchwood, it didn't happen or exist until it happened in the Doctor's timeline, even if that took him into the past. Time travel does that.

Another complaint is why some races, that don't really have a problem with the Doctor directly (Judoon and Silurian's for example), are involved. Sorry, but the universe is in danger, not just the Doctor's opponents. Of course they're going to do something about it. Like unite and use their combined knowledge and skill to build the ultimate prison. Don't forget the line about the amount of fear that went into building the Pandorica.

I won't go into Amy's death, mostly because I don't think it's the end of her story just yet and I'm going to do a massive review later, after season's end.

Which is next week, so roll on Saturday!

Oh...edit

I'm a bit irritatted that they used Pandoras Box to referance tha Doctor. I did that in Fan fiction three years ago!!!!!

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Doctor Who City of the Daleks and The Lodger

Alright let's get it over with, the avatars in COTD are awful. They look like wax work models that have been half melted out of shape. If this was five years ago there wouldn't have been much problem but now they just look bad.

Anything else, well yes as a matter of fact:- The game makes the Daleks half blind, you can quite literally stand ten feet from them and they can't see you. If they are stationary you can just run past them if you time it just right. Those that move are beyond stupid and will run into walls, until the warning is gone. After sounding the alarm they just mill around for awhile and then return to their patrol as if nothing has happened. Rather than lock the doors and hunt down their greatest enemy they decide to invite you up to the emperor for tea, biscuits and the revelation of their diabolical plot. These Dalek drones have all the wit and power of a Voyager era Borg, you could defeat them by knotting a string.

You're forced into the liner environment, meaning that when you try something outlandish like thinking it hamstrings you. Forcing you to crawl between the Daleks rather than just go around them. Even when the only thing in your way is a little pile of rubbel. Events are scripted in such away that the most difficult puzzle is a breeze if you outwit the programers (hack the console under the eye second, that way when it speeds up on the furthest console you can just nip past it and Bob's an uncle).

Amy is more of an annoyance here than anything else. She's always lagging behind getting shot and when she's not pointlessly dragging along side like a boat anchor at sea she's telling you things you already know. The one witty puzzle (smash the boards with a old taxi) is pretty worthless with her blurting out the answer every time you turn around. Often running into her. Another way to drag the game along is the pointless collectables. Where hidden across the maps are cards to collect, rather than giving me a sense of accomplishment I'm left asking who the hell left these things behind?

The plot has more holes in it than a fourth rate Fan fiction story. Where did the Time Lords get this Eye of Time from? How did the Daleks find it if it was lost in the vortex with the destruction of Gallifrey (that was never destroyed only lost in a subspace dimension)? Most importantly what happens to it at the end of the story? Wouldn't the Doctor pick it up, rather than let the Daleks try and find it again? What is the repercussions of having the Core of the Time Vortex out there?

Why, if the Daleks wanted to exterminate the human race, did they not just vaporise Earth? Fire it into the sun or use one of the million or so Bio-weapons they have stored up? If Sylvia is the last human how come she is so clean, well fed and has access to high explosives? Why are the Daleks hunting her when it would be far easier to just obliterate the city from orbit? How do we know she is the last human? How is she sane?

Have I finished. No. If there are these great chasms in Trafalgar Square how do we go down to the underground? Why is the power still on when there is only one human left in the world?

This whole game is one long mess from beginning to end. At times Karen Gillian sounds like she was just phoning in the lines. Hello, your very existence is being removed from time, Earth has been utterly conquered and the most dangerous race in the universe has access to the very core of the big bang, things can't be much worse! Matt Smith tries, but he still hasn't a clue what's going on. Hello, you're in the Dalek's capitol city and it sounds like you're on a trip to Tesco's. You can tell the two of them were locked in a cupboard with a microphone and a handful of lines with no clue what they were doing.

New Who has been a bit fast and lose with continuity but Skaro was destroyed by an exploding star. There is nothing left! You can't just rewrite that, it happened. If the time war did alter history that much the universe would have spun off it's axis. The whole point of the Time Lords banishment from existence and the Time Lock is to stop that from happening!

I need to calm down. I'm going to watch The Lodger again.

Alright The Lodger wasn't that bad. It wasn't as good as recent episodes but it was on par with the Beast Below. Good acting from the guests and regulars as ever.

I don't want to give away to much but I'm getting a bit antsy about technology that needs emotion to operate. There's also little things, like why is there no hole in the roof when the ship goes. Where did the money come from? and finally where does the time ship go?

Right no more questions. This was a good episode, if a little out of continuity.

Coming next The Pandorica.

Sunday 6 June 2010

Doctor Who Catch up

Alright I've been meaning to keep up with the Doctor Who reviews, but work and a massive new fan Fiction project has gotten in the way. So here's a quick catch up

Vampires of Venise
This really was the first time everything came together this serise. Editing, acting, direction and script all fit, I can't pick holes in any of them. Some of the set pieces were fantasic and with Vampires we were back to the old horror idea.
Recently Terry Pratchett wrote an artical pointing out that while Doctor Who is fun it's not Sci-Fi. I agree, and the best episodes prove that. Doctor Who is Horror / fantasy with Sci-Fi eliments. This is why Russel Davis missed the point and Steven Moffat has hit it.
Doctor Who is victorian horror stories carried on to the twenty first century. The Doctor is very much a Sherlock Homes charicter, taking the outlandish and fantastical and braking it down into the explainable. His assistant is, of course, the Watson. The Proxy for the audiance so that we can keep up with him.
Vampires of Venise took that and brought it back to the front, while I would have liked more historical villians (Vampires have been kicking around Doctor Who for decades) there's always room for a nice bit of development.
Five out of Five

Amy's Choice
Again an amazing episode. This proves that good drama comes from good charicters. The relationship between Rory and Amy, up until now, felt like one of convinence. Here, for the first time, we really the impression that Rory is not only a good guy but fantastic for Amy. The team comes together a lot stronger than before.
The acting here deserves special note, these people are going to clean up at the awards this year, and they deserve to! Matt Smith brings a lot to the Doctor this episode and now he's made the charicter his own he's haveing a lot more fun. Up until now he's been playing it over the top and very Tennent like. Now he's bringing some more sublty into the role it's getting a lot more intersting.
The villian is the truly evil Dream Lord, I can't say too much about him without spoilers but what a bad guy. Knowing that even defeated he's still going to be haunting the Doctor for years is a wonderful thought.
Five out of Five

Cold Earth
Once again we dive into the underground world of the unhappy Silurians, and once again it's the Humans that are the villains here. The Silurians and the Sea Devils are amongst the most well balanced of all Doctor Who aliens. A race of evolved Dinosaurs that went into hiding against a cataclism that never happend. This is litteray like leaving home beacuse you think there's going to be a flood and coming back to find the cats have taken over and made a right mess of the place.
You have to love the Silurians beacuse they make us address our own actions a hell of a lot better than BSG and SGU. Put simply they are us, but look different. You've got racism, alienation and all the grubby little bits of ourselves highlighted in our actions against them and theirs against us.
That's what we get is this awesome two parter. While the more balanced and better angels of our nature grope towards a promising and posive future fear and ignorance ON BOTH SIDES push us into confict. From this alone we get the five out of five
Then Rory dies. I'm sorry but straight after Amy's Choice he dies, not as a cop out but as an important development. That's right the Arc plot once again rears it's head and gives us a slap across the face. Not only is Rory dead but technicaly he doesn't exist and this is because of the Doctor's curiosity. This is how develop stories, actions having repocusions leading to further actions. All reasonable and in charicter.
Six out of five

Vincent and the Doctor
How do you follow up what is possibly the most intelligent and well thought out two parter in recent Doctor Who? Why take a gimmick filler episode and turn it into a indepth an frank examiantion of abstract depression and mental illness. Urm, hang on, what? Yep after four years of gimmick episodes with people like Agatha Cristie, Charles Dickings and Shakespere we move on to Vincent VanGogh and instead of using it to just fill up the episode count we have a tightly written and well exicuted story that, while a little heavy handed, is worth every emotional twist and turn. VanGogh was a fantastic artist, who's work is a lot more impressive when you see it in person rather than some tiny photo in a book.
The reprocusions from the last episode are still being felt (ahh continuity keep it away, that might reward views with consistancy and god forbid development!) and the Doctor's guilt (once again a hold over from Amy's Choice) is a wonderful touch. You can see it in his eyes, a subtle bit of acting that almost makes you hurt in sympathy.
Five out of five

All in all these last few episodes had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to me that while the early season was shaky (victory of the Daleks annoyed me so much I went and designed my own Daleks for god's sake) the show is just going from strength to strength. I can't wait for more

Coming soon:- City of the Daleks review. Just as soon as it comes out for my Mac I'm downloading it!

Saturday 1 May 2010

Doctor Who: The Time of Angels & Flesh and Stone

Oh dear, and it was all going so well. Finally we had the Eleventh Doctor we wanted, neck deep in a mystery and surrounded by bad guys. He solved both problems the way he should, i.e. using one against the other and had a grand old time doing it. You could see things slipping from his grasp up until the last moment when it all fit into place and once again he had the idea he needed to solve the problem.

This was Who as it should be, clever, funny and intense. So where did it go wrong? Well first of all River Song. Her constant flirting and superior attitude fell flat when the Doctor proved how brilliant he truly is. The result was an uneven character that seemed half baked, like most of the old Doctors companions if I'm honest. She always was mysterious, we didn't need the ominous and blatant hints in her past. That back story is just useless, supposedly it's to leave you wondering about her background but there isn't very much tension in it and we're not buying the obvious hints. Even after this there is one point that isn't addressed.

The Doctor is more than a Thousand years old (940 something by his own admission in Remembrance of the Daleks) a time traveller and oh yeah, the last survivor of a race BILLIONS of years old! Do you have any, I mean ANY concept of what that means? When you measure a race in thousands of years you get us, in ten thousand years the human race will most likely be extinct or completely unrecognisable. In a million every achievement we have ever made as a race will be gone, no evidence will be left of us. Let that reality sink in for a moment, a billion is a thousand millions. We aren't anything other than bacteria to them. Humanity is dust, a blink of an eye. The very concept that he could have relations with a human reduces him. The very concept of it is repugnant to me. He can care for a human, he can like us but in the end we're pets at best. A study in sociology at worst. He has no interest in humans, other than the fact he wants some one to talk to and share his adventures with. Basically the companion is Winston from Cast Away or, as Tom Baker put it, a talking cabbage. As much as he cares for his companions it's not in that way.

River Song is a companion that doesn't travel in the TARDIS. That's the extent of her involvement. While she is a brave character to attempt to pull off, and both the writer and actress do so well, she just doesn't work for me and I get the feeling that the writers are having second thoughts too. After all look how he reacted to Amy at the end of the episode.

Did someone throw a switch in her during this two part-er. Up until now she had grown a hardened shell to protect herself from disappointment and like a naked turtle the Doctor's return to her life has shattered and ripped that shell off. We watched as the wonder of a child flooded back to her. This made her a wonderful companion, so what the heck happened. Out of the blue she started flirting with him, ending with her flat out ravishing him before throwing herself on the bed and inviting him onto her. Come on, for someone who knew the Doctor so well in earlier episodes should have know that he wasn't going to do that. It came out of nowhere and didn't really have a point other than to give the Doctor a revelation.

I could probably buy the idea that it was adrenaline and the fact that she almost died, but we'll have to see how they play it later. If it's ignored or if they have a talk about it and if so what they say.

The acting, aside from a shaky bit during Amy blindly groping in the forest, was up to it's usual standard. Guest cast lived up to their billing and abilities. So it's good so far, why did I start the review apprehensively? Because of what happened to the Angels.

The Weeping Angels were a wonderful creation of horror and if they had kept them more or less the same it would have been brilliant. But they just kept tacking things on. For example needing to speak though a third party, stolen from the library episodes last series, wasn't necessary. They could have just done impressions or could only speak in pieced together sentences. A word from Amy, one from the Bishop and another from the Doctor thrown together to talk. That would be more scary. Another problem is the change between what they were, a unfeeling predator that threw you back in time and what they are now, killers. Their motives here are poorly defined as simply "destroy everything" and what made them terrifying last time is more of a hindrance this time. They don't even feel like the Angels, you could take them out and replace them with any generic villains. the same effect would be achieved and it might have been better.

Using the Angels here was nothing more than stunt casting, same with the Daleks in the previous episode. They weren't needed here or Daleks there and are just here because they were successful for the writer a couple of years ago. A lot of the Weeping Angels new powers are stolen from other successful monsters and it feels like they've lost their own unique magic. The turning to stone idea is more of a gimmick now rather than a vital part of making them a threat. Speaking of turning into stone, just hit the damn things with a sledge hammer. Smash them, crush them into powder. There's got to be a reason why no one does that, and not just that they can regenerate. Hitting them with a hammer would slow them down, maybe for long enough to escape.

Fortunately while I have arguments about the Angels my biggest problem so far, the crappy editing and inept direction, has been solved. This time around its' competent , not brilliant but competent.

I have hope for later episodes. If we can get the writing of The Beast Below and the Direction / editing we had here we have a winner! four out of five.

Wednesday 21 April 2010

Stargate Universe More on it

I am more amazed than ever that supposedly sensible right thinking people like SGU.

It's boring, dull, un-inventive and over all fucking irritating. I'm not going to apologise for swearing because times like this it's the only viable option. Every problem they come across is suddenly solved by the biggest Deux Ex Mechanic in the business (the ship did it, again) and the crap doesn't stop there.

For one will everyone stop pretending Fly on the wall cameras are a good idea. I got a bellyful from Cloverfield and BSG and those were years ago. The fad is over, thank you and good night. Now fork over £20 and buy a damn tripod to go with those hand held cameras. Failing that push the boat out and film on something that has the faintest whiff of professionalism and find someone to hold them still for more than five minutes .

Next, for those of you taking notes, draft some writers that haven't burnt out after 15 years of SG-1 and Atlantis. Sorry to say they've had their time. They did a good job back in the day but they're used up, all writers get that way after awhile. Give them a holiday and leave them out to pasture. After a quick rest, maybe a year or two, they can come back refreshed and contribute new ideas. Or advise the new guys on the direction planned and accept that it might have been a bad idea to begin with. Anyone remember Star Trek Voyager and Enterprise, where a lot of the same people involved in Next Gen stayed on. Remember what happened to those shows, how no matter what new twists they put on the concept it was stale and more than a little shit. Yep Universe is, to me, the Enterprise of Stargate. I like to pretend it doesn't exist.

Finally, and this is the biggy, give me people and characters to like! Don't make the women whores that sleep with anyone and the men selfish arrogant arseholes that put their own wants above... I don't know, surviving! I am NOT kidding here, one woman shags every man she meets on the ship. The amateur doctor went as far as having an affair with her CO and the senators daughter, not four days after her father spaces himself for the greater good (he was of course dying already so A:- he didn't have a choice and B:- he wasn't a main character), jumps the bones of a two timing lieutenant who has an illegitimate child with a third woman who was sixteen at the time and now works as a pole dancer to support the boy. This reads like a hackneyed Soap Opera. Then add the concept that the CO is trying to get back with his wife but his second in command is having an affair with her. I am left waiting for the line;- "Bobby-joe I went back in time and you're my daughter but I love ya. Our child will be raised in a wholesome family that loves one another. I don't mind that you had sex with that squid thing last week, Ah love ya baby." I'm not joking, I honestly expect that to happen sooner or later.

My overall anger at this show can only be expressed in two subtle and understated words "FUCK" and "OFF". This is badly written shit from start to finish, all drama, logic and indeed compassion is missing. Whole story lines, lasting multiple episodes, could be fixed if just one person showed a gram of common sense.

I admit I do like one person. Eli. The shy and nerdy geek. He's every sci-fi fan in this sort of situation, doing his best to keep his head above metaphorical water, but in the end he's useless. Doesn't contribute anything to the overall story and it feels like they are looking for something for him to do. At the moment he's the go between the command staff and the dysfunctional crew, because lord knows we can't have competent crew. The series would be a lot shorter if there was more than two brain cells to rub together across the whole lot of them.

Give me back Firefly, I miss it. In fact I'm going to dig out my DVD's and enjoy the show again. On the same subject I wouldn't mind Farscape getting another chance at a better ending, but don't get me started on that one...

Saturday 17 April 2010

Doctor Who:- Victory of the Daleks

There is never going to be a sci-fi show more quintessentially British than Doctor Who. It's so refreshing to have my culture celebrated, respected. Then we have this episode, which redefines the whole idea.

Winston Churchill, the blitz and Daleks it's an epic idea and I don't know what more to say about it with out spoilers. Last episode I could dance around the subject, here we are dropped in to the story straight away. Even before, from the trail end of the last episode we knew it was the Daleks.

Still there are one or two points I can touch on; We're still seeing cracks, here there and everywhere. We don't know what they mean but they are getting a little worrying. The Daleks are back, and they are here to stay. And finally Amy has forgotten about the Daleks invasion of Earth.

Amy, just what the hell is going on with her? First of all she practically summons the Doctor, then she sets the monitor on the TARDIS into fits, her age doesn't add up (1300+ years old in the 29th Century... that doesn't work mathematically) and now she doesn't know about the Dalek invasion. She's also very clever and has an insight into humanity that even the Doctor misses. She's brilliant, too brilliant. Something very interesting is happening, something very interesting.

Meanwhile the Daleks are reinvented into the Dalek Power Rangers... Drone (red), Strategist (orange), Scientist (blue), Eternal (yellow and what the hell?) and Supreme (white). They are bigger, meaner and nastier than ever. Not worse, that would have been impossible. Unfortunately they don't feel as menacing to me. The bigger they are the clumsier they look. Great big blocky things, I know Daleks aren't supposed to have elegance but these guys just look fat. Fat lumps. Smaller, tighter bodies are a lot more evil sorry they scare me a lot more.

Another problem, one I saw in the last episode too, is cramming everything in. These are Doctor Who stories in the old style. Massive scale, ideas and solutions. Making this a two part-er would have been a good idea. In fact making all of these longer episodes / two or three parters would be a good idea. As it is everything feels rushed and a whirlwind of frantic actions. Alright that doesn't leave us much time to pick holes in the stories (or notice the fact that for the THIRD time running the Editor and Director's have made a complete hash of it.) but come on this was Epic, make it feel right.

Acting on all front's was top notch, I was a little twitchy about the Doctor resorting to violence but in the end it was to prove a point. Gillian does a great job and all the guest actors bring a touch of realism to the roles.

Over all four out of five again. Brilliant but still niggling flaws I hope they iron out soon.

Favourite lines:- too many to count, but I'm using KBO in my vocabulary form now on, so Keep Buggering On!

Saturday 10 April 2010

Doctor Who:- The Beast Below

Watching Stargate Universe and Caprica I was struck at how it always seems that our lead characters are scum. They are almost always driven by selfish needs and wants, without a real care for how they treat those they step on. I think of it as the Anti-trek philosophy, we're not going to work towards a greater good but on a we want so we have ideal. Now give us your sweets

Alright so it's art imitating life because, guess what, we're pretty much all a big bunch of selfish gits and that makes it more realistic. Still I don't like it, there is a fine line between rogue and villain. Han Solo in the first movie (IV:- A New Hope, if you're pedantic) takes his money and sods off. That makes him a bastard and a coward. Then he returns and saves the day, that makes you cheer because he's now a hero. Still you know he won't give the money back. That's why there is the big rant about who shot first. Han shoots first because he's a rogue, he isn't going to give Greedo half a chance. No honour whatsoever, but you love him because he does it for the right reasons. It might be a slippery slope, but that's what makes him more interesting than the goody two shoes who never forgets roses on his wife's birthday.

What does this have to do with the latest Doctor Who episode? Well everything really. What we have here is a spaceship that runs on perhaps the most monumentally heinous act imaginable because there was no other choice. A whole nation, a culture (what we have left of it) forced to chose between destruction and damnation. Literally. It's a monstrous choice and by making it everyone on the ship become monsters themselves. The Doctor's disgust at everyone is palatable, not least because we feel it too. The very idea of enslavement is something we got rid of centuries ago. To torture an innocent creature is horrifying. Still, in the story it's understandable, even if we can't condone it. It's a strong message.

The Doctor knows just how sticky a moral compass can get, he also knows just how slippery a slope you can fall down. He's seen it all and walks the razor's edge of the moral right. We admire him for that, amongst the horror and the darkness he is the beacon of light. He gets cut, every step of the way. Some people can't take it and leave him. Others get cut too deep and the wounds are there forever. That's the moral of this story, what it means.

It shows us that while the US grub around in the grottier parts of humanity, revelling in the dirt and filth in a desperate attempt to stay relevant we here in rainy ol' England acknowledge that side of life, but have grown past it.

I am stunned by the acting from the leads here, Karen Gillian does a wonderful turn as Amy Pond doing what a companion should: be an interesting and complex foil for the Doctor while providing us, the viewer, with exposition. When she makes a massive and potentially devastating mistake you wince, knowing the Doctor both already knew (or suspected) and would deal with it anyway. Then it hits you, she doesn't know him yet. Just like Martha she has no real idea just who she is travelling with.

This is the Doctor, he dug bones out of sand, carved them into chess pieces and challenged Evil itself to a game and won. Imprisoning it for thousands of years. This man saw the fall of Arcadia and is the sole survivor of a war that literately tore reality itself apart. He has seen empires rise and fall. Personally slew the king of the great Star Vampires and has faced the Devil, looking it in the eye as they tumbled into a Black Hole.

Thing is you can believe that, especially from Matt Smith's portrayal. As much as he plays the bumbling, mad, fool there's that hint of something deeper. A man who you would not cross. We saw a glimpse of that in the Eleventh Hour. Here we get something more. A sharp edge hidden under a woven tweed facade. This Doctor has hidden depths, but isn't afraid to use it. I have to admit I was a little flustered early on about him trading on his reputation. I'm glad to see him earning it. The fact that Matt Smith brings all this to the character is a very good sign indeed.

If I was asked to give it a score, however, it would have to be four out of five. As much as I loved it there were a couple of things that niggled me, then again we're still finding our feet. Everyone is still getting used to Matt and Karen and the real fun hasn't started yet, don't forget it took a couple episodes for everyone to get used to Tennent. New Earth (series 2's first episode) wasn't as good as this and it's the closest comparison we've got.

Oh and I have to note my favourite line of this episode... "Six hundred feet down, the heart of the ship. Must be Lancashire." Best part is the Doctor is talking about the mouth of a giant space monster. Ahh, I love being Lancastrian.

Saturday 3 April 2010

Doctor Who:- The Eleventh Hour

As I have said before one, of my all time favourite Doctors was the second one. He was that perfect mix of wacky, authoritarian and adventurer. Always one to get himself neck deep into a problem before pulling a magnificent turn, switching the problem back in on itself. Twisting clever plots back onto the plotters and schemers.

Think Heath Leger's speech as the Joker in The Dark Knight, only the Doctor doesn't use bombs or knifes just his intellect and whatever is handy. It might be a little early, but I get the feeling Moffet likes Troughton's run just as much as I do. There are a lot of overtones, right up to the "Raggedy Doctor" and the inappropriate sarcasm.

Other than the Space hobo, Karren Gillan's Amy Pond reminds me of another Doctor Who main stay. Ace. Ace was fantastic, pretty much the first super feisty companion. She had a big old bag full of high explosives, a baseball bat and enough attitude to take on a Dalek in a fist fight. She'd lose but that wouldn't stop her. Amy might as well have been cut out of the same bolt of cloth, but she's a whole different animal.

Put it this way, Ace would never EVER be a Kiss-o-gram, least of all admit it. She was always little bit shy when it came to that side of the human condition. Even if Amy is still a child at heart she always was fearless. Just what we need, someone who enjoys the adventure just as much as the Doctor. Even if the Doctor is the adventure! No more companion romances like Rose or Martha!

Now for the third character, the TARDIS. It's beautiful, literary gorgeous. It truly is organic and for the first time, in my opinion it looks alien. Not just alien but truly so far beyond anything we can hope to produce. The TARDIS lords it over all the other shows out there, as it should. No more comparisons to Farscape, it really is unique and what the Doctor deserves.

So on to the episode. Actually there's not much more; the foundations of a season long plot arc, alright two and some clever camera trickery. Still a good bit of drama, action and some fantastic acting. What drove this episode was the characters. The good guys and the bad had personality. The villain had a reason to escape, in fact everything had a reason. I'm sure if I watched it a bit longer I'd find a couple of plot holes, but for the life of me the only one I can find right now is how Amy got around without a car in such a small village.

Still It's early days now, let's see how we develop!

Tuesday 30 March 2010

Stargate Universe First impressions

I haven't had time to analyse SGU. I've only seen a few episodes online and I am waiting for the DVD box set before I really settle down on an opinion, but I do have three points I want to make.

First:- I want to like my characters. Make them people, not walking bags of neuroses with enough baggage's filled with half baked clichés. I don't mind bad decisions that come back to haunt them in later episodes, but there has to be a good reason for them. don't do it for the hell of it. They're not more believable, just people you want to punch!

Second:- Find a fucking tripod. Stop emulating BSG and stick to your guns of steady shots. Stop distracting me with "clever" angles and POV shots. I want the story to suck me in, not your artistic flair.

Third:- Stop hitting the plot eject button. If you're going to give us a massive problem with only a practically impossible solution for the love of god don't deux ex machina the story!

These are exactly the problems I had with BSG. God damn it I thought we were through with this crap... Oh right Caprica, that is on DVD already. Oh no, I'm going to have to see that too aren't I

Sunday 28 March 2010

"Witness the resurrection brother's and sisters!"

There is only one thing that can resurrect me from Doctor Who awesomeness...




BRAND NEW MEAT LOAF ALBUM !
19th APRIL

Monday 22 March 2010

Died, due to concentrated amounts of awesome...



Expect the resurrection 3rd April 2010...

Thursday 18 March 2010

Starhunter, whimper...

What the hell is this? How is it possible for a show this bad to exist? This is just beyond bad. I mean sure I joke about Star Trek enterprise being un-watchable but this... If I was to come up with a list of bad Sci-Fi shows with things like Flash Gordon, Team Knight Rider and Space precinct this show would be at the bottom of the pack.

It's so bad I'd rather watch anything else but I just can't tear my eyes from this train wreck of a series. The scripting is painful, the plot has more holes than a pair of rotten socks and the acting is literally the worst I have ever seen. The fact that this series has a fan base is a question for the ancient geek gods to ponder over. Good god that there was demand for a third season is beyond stupid. It is a crime that this rancid pile of inadequacy got two whole seasons while Firefly is now ridiculed for fighting for a handful more episodes.

Lets start with the basics; the first series was set in, what I guess, is the year 2285. That magical time where somewhere Captain Kirk and Captain Sheridan also exist. That alone should give you every idea as to how original this "show" is. I say "show" because anyone with half a intellect would recognise this an obscure and particularly brutal form of torture. Every cliché is touched upon and played out to astounding predictability.

Basically the story is humanity has left earth and spread across the solar system. Devolving in to a lawless civilisation governed by self interest. The lawmakers are almost powerless, the police are an empty threat and all that stands between common people and chaos is bounty hunters. Privately employed gun toting morons hired to hunt down criminals and pirates. As you can guess our heroes are a band of these Bounty hunters, flying about in a run down old space ship.

For the first year we follow Dante who decides that, while acting as a Bounty Hunter, he's going to look for his lost son. Searching the solar system for the pirates that took him Dante stumbles upon a wonderful discovery. In the centuries since discovering DNA it has been completely mapped, well almost. The last base pair was a mystery until it was discovered to be the key to becoming divine. I'm not kidding, thanks to this magical bullshit... sorry, I mean plot contrivance, people have all sorts of super powers. Genetic engineering folks, it's not used to fix horrible debilitating diseases just turn you into an extra from Heroes!

After breaking down and weeping in gibbering terror over the mind numbing crap of that concentrated rubbish I moved on to the second series. Trust me that is the best thing to do. The whole first year in less than a full paragraph. Bounty hunting, searching and wacky powers stretched out over twenty episodes. No character development, new ideas or even acting lessons. Believe me I was on my knees before the screen begging for development.

The was development in the second year. Off screen of course. Somehow the giant ship that they fly around in for no reason other than "ohh pretty" spent 15 years in suspended animation in hyperspace. Why? I don't know, maybe they just needed a plot development to ditch half the cast. Everyone, but the most attractive, talentless droning moronic prat of the lot jumped ship. The explanation :- "lost in hyperspace". That's right, all but one of the crew disappear as the ship is in hyperspace. Call me old fashioned but I wouldn't call a form of travel that casually obliterates five sixths of your crew practical. Not to worry, you know that missing son. He just happens to be on the space station that the ship docks at. Alive and well, and aside from the occasional time travelling flashback thanks to his magical powers, perfectly fine.

I want to die. I hate the New BSG but that's my personal choice. This is the ultimate in bad Sci-Fi. Confusing stupid and insulting to anyone who watched this . I'm off to watch Space:- Above and Beyond. That show was better, and admitting that is almost painful.

Sunday 14 March 2010

Why Final Fantasy X SUCKS! My point of view!

I have to agree with the great and wise Spoony One that Final Fantasy X is god awful Final fantasy X PT1

After hearing how great seven and eight were I was always a little bitter that my friends never got them so I could experience the games first hand. I'm not a gamer, in fact these days I hardly ever pick up a game controller. I'm either reading, watching or listening to something else. I simply don't have time to play.

Take right now for instance; while I'm writing this I'm also watching classic episodes Star Trek Next Generation. In a while I might switch to the original series and try to finish a chapter of Fan Fiction, or load up BBC's iPlayer and watch whatever episode of Doctor Who has been repeated recently. I'm multi tasking, using my mind not to it's fullest potential but using it.

Paying computer games you're forced to spend all your time focussed on this one thing that is all too soon dull boring and pointless. You're just going over the same old routine, select and apply an action. It costs hundreds of pounds for a console these days, between £30 and £40 for the game, which denies you the plot unless you jump through certain hoops. There is none of the convenience of a book, which you can read any where without worrying that the batteries are running out. Games that force feed me my imagination always handcuff me from options.

There are all sorts of names for developments in games; "None linear game play", "AI scripting", "alternate endings" are all ideas that try to pretend their giving you an option. The fact is you don't. There are no options, decisions, goals or objectives that you can achieve that haven't been programmed. You have no choice but to jump the hoops offered.

Fiction is much more honest about it, knowing that the inter action isn't pushing buttons but conveying ideas. More importantly an episode of Star Trek doesn't force you to spend hours doing exactly the same thing over and over again until you hope for death. If even to change the monotony. This is just the start of my problems with Final Fantasy X.

If I wanted a story I'd read a book. If I wanted a story as predictably mindless as this one, with acting that could peel paint at fifty paces and cause sever internal haemorrhaging, I'd watch an Enterprise marathon. The story is rubbish, the plot twists predictable and the only character you could possibly like is hideously underused. Tidus is a whiny pathetic moron who's feminine Tokyo-pop features belong on the bottom of someone's shoe rather than anything else. I want to root for the hero, not jump into the screen and beat them half to death with a clue stick!

Playing the game is worse than annoying. You spend all your time "level grinding", fighting the same monsters over and over again to gain experience. After about four hours of grinding you can finally play the damn game, defeating the super powerful bosses and progressively harder monsters. Twenty minutes of game play layer the bosses are too powerful and monsters almost as strong. You're stuck, dying every time you turn around. The solution? Another four hours of grinding against another level of monsters. I'm not kidding, the only thing that makes it seem longer is the cut scenes.

The badly rendered, pointless, droning cut scenes that make you want to take a knife to your own wrists. Yes the cities and landscapes look good, but I don't care, we have holidays and paintings for that. I want to PLAY THE FUCKING GAME! Not watch someone with the brains of a common garden slug fart around trying to attract a witless fluttering and suicidal fool.

Yep, not only do I loath Tidus but Yuna has all the intelligence and personality of a maniacally depressive lemming. Her great quest across the world is to defeat the monster from Cloverfield by holding a seance. I wish, I truly wish that was a joke. It's not. for more than a thousand years this magically powered future have thought the only weapon was prayer. Just don't get me started on the rest of the mess with the characters. I'll leave that to grand master Spoony.

What I won't leave to him, even though he's hit upon it already, is Blitzball. You see for this game you have to, in order to get money and points, play in Blitzball tournaments. A made up game that is sort of like water polo, lacrosse, football and the bastardisation of reality. The game is played in a giant ball of water where, without breathing apparatus, you swim around for fifteen minuets at a time. Trying to score a goal in a net half an inch bigger than the ball. First, as pointed out, you cannot throw, kick, punch in water. Physics won't allow it, it's a simple act of compression. Second, WHO IN THE NAME OF THE GOOD FUCKING LORD WANTS TO PLAY SPORTS WHEN THEY PLUG IN A FANTASY GAME. Seriously, why the hell would you want to play sports, let alone the worst badly managed mangled excuse for a sport you have here? Why is it mangled? Because of point three of course. A sport that is a hideous mishmash of Football and Lacrosse should not, under any circumstances, be turn based! We should play it as a managerial game, where the player picks tactics before the match starts and watch the play through. Instead it is turn based, where whoever has the ball has a turn and what your players do depends on the settings you pick mid match! You have to pick, because the default settings are useless.

It's been years since I've played this game and I'm raging just remembering it. The real problem is just how much an impact the Final Fantasy series has had on gaming. Maybe it's wrong to lay the blame at it's feet, Zelda and several other game series are to blame too but in the end this is the game that sealed this opinion for me. A game is a game, a story is a story. Pong, for instance, is a game. It's a challenge between two players, the console is only the medium. Like a deck of cards or cricket stumps. The outcome is down to you and who you're playing against. Games like Space Invaders are played against yourself, your own highscore a target to beat. That's game play, that's entertaining, best of all you can kill the sound and play music over it. You don't need to arse around with save points or struggle for hours skilling up just to die on your way back home.

Final Fantasy X was a massive disappointment to me and it coloured my view on RPGs and modern consoles forever. I gave XII a chance and while the burns weren't as deep they still hurt. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of playing the new XIII. Even though Blitzball is gone and the characters are getting a little better the core problem I have outlined here has not changed and no matter what I keep coming back to this point

These games aren't games. They are sub-par, cliché riddled, poor stories masquerading as interactive cartoons that actively prevent you from enjoying the plot by forcing you complete pointless and suffocating tasks in a vain excuse to make the exorbitant fee required feel justified.

To those of you that like and enjoy Final Fantasy go an buy a book, I don't care if it's an I-can-read book with a few big words and a lot of pictures. Spark your imagination, put those controllers down and revel in what inspires you. Love life, shove a play list on your iPod and go for a walk. Go to the pub and utterly fail to chat up a woman. Watch Star Trek. Do something other than waste hours, days even weeks of your life farting around this pointless series of games.

Tuesday 9 March 2010

This... is going to be good!

Once upon a time I was six years old. I know, it feels like dinosaurs ruled the earth back then. The best you could hope for from your computer was 8 bit and that magic box in the corner ran on DOS. My family went to a friends house and I played my first computer game.

Nothing special and I wouldn't remember it to day if it wasn't for one point. While we were playing games they had a video on the TV. I remember looking up and being amazed, it was the original Tron. I spent years after that hunting the video down. As soon as I had DVDs I got the special edition. Once every six or so months I still dig it out and watch it, usually when I should be doing something else. It is a classic film to me. Right up there with The Dark Crystal for spectacles that shaped my life.

Now Years later there is a sequel. Here's the trailer:-



I know there is supposed to be a lot of good films out this year, like Iron Man 2, Toy Story 3 and the like but this... this is my Star Trek. I must see this movie, even if it's pants I simply have to marvel at it

Friday 26 February 2010

Avatar:- The Legend of Aang

Anime. It polarises reviewers, especially over here in the strange land of England. In Western culture, and I hate using that phrase, cartoons are for children. The moment there is any adult content, for example Perfect Blue which was an adult thriller that happened to be animated, it gets ripped apart by critics and tabloid newspapers declare it an attack against the innocence of childhood by those vile foreigners. That's been well documented over the years so I'm going to avoid it, needless to say it;s total rubbish and should be ignored out of hand.

What I will point out is three things. Anime is extremely good, when it's done well. Akira is incredibly overrated and has done more damage than good. Finally my favourite Anime, that I have seen, is Nausicåa.

Now Avatar is not strictly Anime, but it is heavily influenced by it. It is also influenced by classical fantasy novels. Split into three seasons (known as "books") the story takes place over a year. The plot is fairly simple fantasy fair:- Three teenagers travel the world, learning ancient skills and magic to fight and defeat a great evil. These three are chased by the bad guys, knowing that if they were to learn everything the bad guys would lose. A lot happens to the characters involved during their quest, not only is it a time of growth for the characters, from childhood to adulthood, but they are driven to save the world. Something dangerous and daunting for adults let alone people only just really finding their way way in life. This makes for an interesting an compelling fantasy story. Unfortunately it hit a problem.

It's difficulty is that it slips between the cracks. It is not anime, so the hard core fans dismiss it as a bastardisation of the form. It didn't fit in the nice little box TV producers and distributors think kids live in so they were cagy about showing it. It was animated so adults and most critics ignored it completely. The result was it's target audience of students had to go out of their way to follow it. As such it isn't as well known as it should be, believe me when I say it is one of the best animated shows of the last five years. Easily better than Ben 10 and on par with Transformers Animated.

As ever, for me, the most important thing is character development. That's exactly what we get with this series. As much as I love Star Trek nothing that happens effects the characters. Kirk is the same womanising egotistical hero in the last episode that he was in the second pilot. The original transformers cartoon was great fun, if seriously flawed, once again there was no development. Now admittedly in both there wasn't much to develop, between them Kirk and Optimus have enough pure awesome to blot out a sun.

Avatar didn't start out with fully developed people and at the end there was still room for growth. Even in the midst of all the magic and fantasy this made them realistic, watching them grow and develop as people, not simple cartoons. As they do develop they make choices, choices that have repercussions down the line. The most impressive developments come from Zuko. We are introduced to him as a villain, but as we learn more about his past we discover just how conflicted he was. Watching a villain convert to the good guys side is a massive cliché, but when handled correctly you really route for the outcome. It's a sign of good writing that when he makes the wrong choice you practically want to put your fist through the screen.


Another character I want to single out is General Iroh. This here is all you need to know.




Avatar:- The Legend of Aang is a brilliant adventure that, even though it's getting it's own live action movie, is under appreciated. If you want my advice get hold of the DVD's and enjoy.

Sunday 31 January 2010

Power Rangers

Power Rangers is, like Smallville, a guilty pleasure of mine. It's crap, but reliable for early morning entertainment. Over the last, what 16 years its been going it's improved in leaps and bounds. The latest, and possibly last, version "Power Rangers RPM" took the recycled themes used from the last ten or so series and played on them. Producing a surprisingly well thought out and interesting show that proved the format, in the right hands, still has a lot of life to it.

Knowing that it was being watched by the old fans of the classic shows as much as new viewers the writers played up to all those things we expected to see. They then gave all the clichés and themes a twist. It wasn't anything new in the grand scheme of things but it was fun to see develop and grow, especially with the twists included this time. For example it's become predictable that the first few members of the team will be joined by a new rebel member who will become the focus of the series (think Green Ranger) so the writers introduced him right from the start with a knowing wink and explored the original team later with flashbacks. This made them all interesting and mysteries from the start rather than just the newcomer. A welcome change.

You could argue RPM was "inspired" by Mad Max and Terminator. I would say that the premiss was stolen straight from those films, but what they did with it was entertaining, clever and well organised. Outside of the writing the acting, always the weakest point of Power Rangers, was well above par. Same for direction and Special Effects, another two aspects that are easily ridiculed but were respectable here.

RPM was anything but the corny over the top karate showcase the original show was. As this was supposed to be the last series you can see a real care and attention was paid to the craft this time around. Developing strong characters and making them believable in an outlandish plot. Even the Scottish ranger blue (the idea of a Scotsman running around in blue spandex has me laughing every time!)

That's not to say it was perfect, once again the comic relief sucked all drama from his scenes. In attempting to chew the scenery he only demonstrated that he wasn't really funny or likeable. The flipping back and forth of the villain-to-be-redeemed in the last few episodes also dragged down the ending. Although in it's defence the actress they got pulled off the dual personality, being both ruthless while evil and unsure when innocent and it was a good arc to begin with. There were also the usual embarrassing moments that are supposed to be funny and the dramatic tension that will be undermined by the plot device of the week but that is to be expected.

RPM was one of the best Power Rangers series and as a whole the show went out on a high note. It would be a shame if it truly was the last ever, but if it is I can't think of a better way to end the show.

Edit.
Technically it was the last so far. With the original Mighty Morphin' Rangers getting the "Re-mastered" treatment. Making it more comic and "child friendly". "Child" in this case means what a group of overweight, cigar chomping, corporate executives think children want. After running about a dozen focus groups with the Pro-Christian, far right, Mary Whitehouse loving, shut in mother's board against fun and quality in Television.

I swear this body exists somewhere. Complaining about things like including the word "War" in cartoons, trying to ban loony tunes because it shows violence to animals, refusing to show blood on TV. All because their little darling children shouldn't be exposed to the real world. Grow up!

Wednesday 13 January 2010

Earth Fighter




Another sketch drawing for my novel.

Earth had the first fighter interceptors to operate in space. Over the years the basic design didn't change much. Long and thin the ship relied on four omnidirectional thrusters for manoeuvres that were mounted fore and aft on dedicated armatures , two front mounted cannons for short range and two large missile bays for long range attacks. The missile bays could be adapted for bombing runs on planetary targets.
Despite later weapons developments resulting in Pulse Plasma Turrets for capital ships and mid range space bases the power requirements made upgrading the fighters impractical. Leaving them with relatively crude but effective weapons until the end of the war.
Unfortunately while the fighter was effective in both space and atmosphere it was unable to withstand the forces of leaving or entering an atmosphere. That and other problems; including lack of FTL, limited oxygen supplies, limited (if effective) ordinance and short range sensors meant that they were forever tied to their carriers and bases.
Still the shear impact of these fighters; combined with their agility, firepower and numbers meant that Earth forces could deploy astounding amounts of destructive potential on a battlefield.

Saturday 9 January 2010

Warzone Poster,




Hot Rod again, from a better angle.

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Why?

This is a response to the strange ramble over here

As I read it I'm left alternating between asking "what the hell?' and "what is love". Now I'm not some sappy romantic, I have a cold, hard and pessimistic out look on life, but I do see love as a crowning point.

A good few years ago I knew a girl. I worked with her at a local Youth Council, it was one of those ideas the government comes up with to get people interested in local politics. After working with and knowing her for two years (teasing her about her love of Harry Potter) I realised that I liked her. A lot. She was beautiful, smart, not afraid to argue you down when she thought you were wrong and clearly crazy in her own way. Even on the rare times I hear from her these days she hasn't changed, wearing her heart on her sleeve and not caring one jot what people think.
She never found the status quo, at she wasn't with the popular "in crowd" and just did and said what she wanted. That takes a certain bravery I admire. I truly did, and in many ways still do, love her.

Of course I'm about as repugnant as a elephants anus and when I tried to tell her how I felt I got the old one two sucker punch to my emotional gut. First she already knew, I wasn't that subtle after all and secondly one of my Judas inspired friends also figured it out and told her. So there I was, hoping I'd at least have surprise on my side and it turns out she had been looking for a chance to let me down easy.

Needless to say that was that as far as she was concerned. I tried to accept it and move on. As you can guess that failed. The worst thing is what happened after. She was uncomfortable to be around me, often just dashing off. Oh she was polite and friendly but there was a wall between us that's just gotten bigger.

Since then she's had two long term boyfriends the first broke her heart to the point where I could have killed him (no really I practically sharpened knives for the act) and the one she has now. The one she has now I wouldn't be surprised if I find an engagement notice in the paper tomorrow. At least that's the last I've heard of her, we've drifted apart and I still cry thinking about her.

As for love I don't know who or what I'd be if I didn't love at least something or someone. I believe love is a corner stone in a persons life. It holds your life together, but at the same time you need more than just one corner. You need to be loved and feel it. You need to know happiness. You need to know despair and loneliness. You need all of these look into the future and build your life higher.

I can feel glad that I've loved someone, in that shining moment I could split mountains with a glance. The stars were mine to marvel at and they have never been so bright. Life was so much sweeter for a fleeting second and that alone was worth the heartbreak.

That's love my friends, i hope everyone finds it sooner or later.