The great debate.

Oh boy

Thank you William Shatner, you have waded into the oldest and most impossibly stale argument in geekdom and you've kicked off a new phase in the war. For those of you that don't know Shatner did an interview on his youtube page saying Star Trek was better than Star Wars.

Of course he was going to say Star Trek. There are two reasons for this, both are that it's William god-damn Shatner. The only thing more legendary than his acting is his planet sized ego. Anyway Carrie Fisher decided to open a Youtube page herself and challenge that.

Meta, an investigation.

Meta, an investigation.

Oh dear, this is something percolating in the background of geek culture and has been for sometime. Meta-fiction, literally meaning "beyond fiction". So far beyond that it's almost abstract.

But just what the hell does that all mean? Well not much is the short of it, but the long is a real twisted story. There are about three different levels to Meta-fiction, each one coming about through different means. So lets start in the shallow end:-

The first level is an in-joke. Something that the writer, or director, puts in for a gag. Like Alfred Hitchcock's cameo's, or Bruce Campbell's cameo's in the Spiderman films. They can often just be one liners, a character quipping that something like that would only happen in a bad TV show. Or even the cylon in the title sequence of The A-Team. In someways a gag like this pulls you out of the fiction, taking you out of the story. In others it flags up the point that it only a story after all, and because we're in on the joke it puts us at ease.
Meta in-jokes are fun and if pulled off just right add to the over all experience. We're put on the same level as the creator, we're interacting with whats happening and feel like we're being let in to the Writer / Directors confidence. Of course if they're pulled off wrong it's just a cheap sting.

The second level is what I like to think of as The Great Game. Bringing the fiction into reality. This sort of started with Sherlock Holmes, but it's also found in stuff like Bernard Cromwell's Sharp series. This "level" deliberately blurs the lines between fact and fiction. Taking historical events and weaving them into the story, bringing up something like September 11th is a good example. Not in metaphor, but directly and having it as a motivation for a characters actions as was done in Farscape at one point.
Blurring the lines like this really adds a sense of realism to a story. The Scream films used this sort of meta-fiction perfectly. By acknowledging the codes and conventions of horror films, making classic horror films fiction in story, we felt like we were on the same level as the characters. That they were real people and not the bland ignorant cyphers of the previous twenty years.
That's the point of this level, blur the lines and you make fiction more real. Throw in a few twists and you make the characters people we can relate to. This doesn't always work but it can be very interesting to see pulled off.

The third though, well let's jut say it's mindfu*k time! The third level is what happens when the fiction acknowledges that it is fiction. It's literally having a character going on a quest to find god and meeting his Writer / Creator. In this you all sorts of questions, with the Character asking fundamental questions about their own existence and why. This was done to great effect in Grant Morrison's run on Animal Man, which I highly rate. Another point with this level is it often pulls the other two in with it. Littering the story with real world references and history. Stargate's two hundredth episode featured a writer coming to the team looking for ideas for scripts! The episode was littered with so meny in jokes and stings that it was all one big gag.
Take look at another of the corner stones of this level, Yes Virginia, There Is A Hercules, from Hercules:- The Legendary Journeys. In fact, for god's sake do. It's one of the three episodes that makes that show worth while. While on the surface it's just a clip show the framing device is so meta (ironically a Greek word…) that it makes your head spin. We see the production team, played by the main cast in exaggerated roles, fighting amongst themselves and we have the Greek gods appear to them, in character and with all their powers. The sting of this episode is even more barmy. Kevin Sorbo arrives to defeat the Gods, saying that he really is the greek demi-god and Kevin Sorbo is a cover.
This level of meta-fiction doesn't just blur the lines between one fiction and another, but flat out crushes them all, even those between fiction and reality, completely. It's like taking a bulldozer to the actor's forth wall and then detonating it with a truck full of C4. Almost anything can happen when you wheel this out, from George Lucas meeting Darth Vader to the TARDIS landing in the middle of the Doctor Who set!
With this level you can either have fun, or ask some of the most difficult philosophical questions you'll ever see. Either way the audience will be equally confused and enthralled.

So, in summation, Meta-fiction is a way to blur the lines between fiction and reality, in storytelling, to enhance the experience for the audience. That was the short version if anyone asks!

All hallows.

All hallows! An investigation:-

It's been a while since I posted, mostly because I've been busy but otherwise I've not had much to say. But there is one thing that's interesting me. Halloween.

Halloween, lot's of people seem to be excited by it:- "Oh it's my favourite Holiday!" "I love Halloween!" "So what are you doing for Halloween" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas is my favourite film of all time Evar!" It never hit me why, alright it's a good film, but why does everyone get so excited by Halloween? I've never really understood it and I think I know why.

Of all the holidays it's the most social. Now I'm not a social animal, mostly I keep to myself in the pub or those that know me. I hate loud parties (what few I've been to) because I always seem to end up the loner on the corner. Cringing at the oppressive, and crap, music and wondering why I'm surrounded by people I can't relate to. So I've identified why I don't rate Halloween. Why do other people rate it higher than, say, Easter or Chinese New Year?

It's because the others aren't social, well not really. They're always family things. Christmas has become that time where we have to dust off the address book and contact relatives you haven't heard a thing from for 12 months. Or long car journeys to old friends that you no longer have anything in common with and can't quite understand why. New Years is more a case of getting drunk and shouting a lot. The parties are always at someone's house, or with some work buddies that you don't know socially.

As for Easter, well that's on it's last legs. Remembered for chocolate eggs and the fact you get some extra days off work.

Most, if not all of the non christian celebrations are ignored when it comes to time off work or celebration outside of themselves.

So in the end we get halloween, the one last party all the evil sprits get before all Hallows. Their banishing before winter winter sets in. That's the origin of it and some how, while that's been mostly lost this simple little pagan festival has survived it all. Religion, mis-information and even crass commercialism to be the one night of the year we all have a good party.

So if you're going to enjoy yourselves, dress up as a witch and party more power too you. Me, I'll be the loner in the pub.

One last thing before I go:- An interesting point about Easter, it's the polar opposite of Halloween. Originally another pagan festival, celebrating the start of life in the year. Hence the bunny's Eggs and everything else.

Black Holes

I am not one of the worlds great physicist, I'm not even one of the worlds great spellers, but I like to think I have a brain. So when watching a documentary on Steven Hawking and his view on Black Holes I was painfully reminded why I didn't take up hard science as a career.

Black holes are amongst the most powerful forces in nature, capable of crushing whole stars and indeed solar systems while being no larger than a pea. This is thanks to the frankly silly amount of mass compacted, with a staggering amount of densely, into a small space. We use metaphors like "sucking" and "trapped" when in reality it's just another way of "falling". Now, according to Hawking, once matter has passed what is called the event horizon (a mathematical, not physical, edge to the Black Hole) it would be impossible to stop falling. The problem is what happens next.

Now according to most people there are two possible arguments. The first states that all the matter in the Black Hole eventually vanishes. Just that, vanish, cease to exist. According to Hawkins this is what happens and it breaks just about every rule in the book. Matter is simply organised energy and one of the basic rules out there is that energy (and thus matter) cannot be created or destroyed. only converted. The theory flat out tells us that in a Black Hole the forces involved supereed the laws of physics. Unfortunately, if this is true, it leads to a problem. Black Holes are so powerful and so immense that the universe just couldn't exist, as we know it does. It would have been sucked up long long ago. There are just that many of the blasted things out there. Now a good number of Physicists have also noticed that and come up with the only solution, Black Holes are finite and do eventually stop.

But what happens to the matter they sucked up? When those forces end, a good question itself is how, what happens. Now Hawking's theory tels us... nothing happens. After all if the matter and energy no longer exists then neither do the forces that they exert. It wraps up the problem in a nice little bow. The problem is, of course, without matter, little things like Existence itself would have been destroyed long ago.

Now a good number of other, less famous thinkers, suggest that doesn't happen. They suggest that the Black Hole eventually traps itself. With nothing escaping matter just continues to spiral deeper and deeper into itself and that's it. The Black Hole stops exerting forces and collapses. The key to this is a little loop hole in Hawkins math that points out that a Black Hole produces heat. Incredible amounts of heat that just bleeds off into space.

Now as this documentary tried to explain this I paused it got up and ranted at a wall for an hour. The reason for this is simple, either I'm seeing something 99% of the most brilliant people in the world haven't or I'm missing something fundamental. The problem is because I'm coming from it with the basics and not convoluted, unproven, math and vague imagery I don't think I'm tied up in the decades of linear thinking these people have caved out for themselves.

Heat, much like light and matter and anything else, cannot escape a Black Hole. If the forces inside are creating more and more heat in a denser and denser point there can only be one solution. The forces acting within would have to reach a critical point where there is more energy inside trying to get out than there is gravity pulling it in. The more a Black Hole absorbs the more energy that would be eventually produced. The result would be, what people once suggested could be called, a White Hole. Or, put more simply, kaboom. An enormous kaboom. The matter, once trapped, would break forth and well miniature big bang is the best description I can come up with.

There is obviously a complex and elaborate theory that states I'm wrong. If some one, anyone, has it please tell me. Otherwise I'll return to Sci-Fi reviews and fan fiction as soon as possible

Miracle Day.

A quick update on my past opinion of Torchwood:-

The first series was pure character assassination. Simple. While RTD was trying to make them diverse and flawed the end result was no one came out of that with an ounce of likability. The acting was nothing to write home about either. Heck, half the time it even seemed like Barrowman, a man that could give Shatner a challenge chewing scenery, was phoning it in that year. We had so much sex, gay innuendo and pointless bodily fluids that it came off like three teenage boys giggling behind the bike shed. It wasn't grown up, wasn't adult. Just some kid that found their dad's copy of FHM and thought it was the most graphic thing since Lemon Party . Org.

The second series approached things as if the first hadn't happened. We had reasonably adult humour, a few good storylines and the characters were the well rounded and down to earth, flawed, people they were supposed to be. We got some good back story and development for the team and opened up the can of worms that was Jack's backstory for the overall plot. It could have been a lot better, and I found killing off two of the gang rather pointless, but they were niggling doubts all in all it was leagues ahead. If the first year was scored one out of five, the second was a solid three.

Then came Children of Earth. This was a deal braker for me. Quite simply it had a lot of promise and would have made either a nice three parter all on its own, or an arc for a series. They knew these aliens were coming back, people all over the world would be beginning to panic and it was up to Torchwood to try and stop it from happening again. Jack could have been wracked with guilt over what he was forced to do and it could have been a nice Torchwood on the run against the conspiracy thing. The once proud, secret, organisation that had influence at the highest levels reduced to the end of it's rope. Old favours vanishing and allies turning on them. A real draconian menace from a corrupt and desperate cabal of officials trying to hide mistakes made fifty years earlier.

Unfortunately what we got was a disaster. An over bloated arrogant mess that needed someone with the guts to tell RTD to scale back, and stop trying to rewrite the end of New Doctor Who's third year

I've already outlined how I would have fixed this Here. Much to some people's dislike.

Now comes Miracle Day. It's either going to be a carbon copy of Children of Earth with some of the bad bits iron-ed out, some more development and a bigger punch to it. Or it's just going to be a damp, predictable, squib that lasts five more episodes than CoE. Dragged out to the point where even the most avid fan throws their hands up in disgust.

I've seen two episodes so far, and I have to wonder if it was written by a first year script writing student. A director that's qualifications were that they watched Twilight one time and an editor that has a YouTube account. I might be a bit harsh here, but it really feels like a Mickey mouse operation. The villains would be better hidden if they had top hats, moustaches and capes. Along with a neon sign flashing "smarmy gits" and their own marching band.

There is no real drama here. The acting is on par with the first year and it just feels like everyone with any acting skill are just working for pay checks.

Including Dichen Lachman, Dollhouse's Sierra. Just one of the many guest stars they've got coming.

Unlike Transformers 3 I have an open mind for this one, please RTD don't disapoint

Green Lantern

I want to make a point. I have ranted, twice now, about the third transformers film and how much it doesn't appeal to me.

I realise that you you might think I'm a prone to knee jerk reactions over very little evidence, or that I'm just a mean jerk that hates things for very little reason, so I think I better share my experience with Green Lantern.

Oh - Kay I did not have very high expectations for this film going into it. The umpteen million different trailers, the really bad CGI suit and the plot re-write rumours I knew going into it it was going to be a mess. It was, but in the film's defence it was a difficult birth. There was a lot of difficult things going on in the background and no one really knew where they were going.

The acting was ropy, the editing just bad, the plot holes so immense they rivalled the Matrix trilogy and the CGI was never fixed. Everything you hear about this thing is true it is that bad. But still, and this is a big but, you can just sit back and enjoy. It's not offensive, it doesn't out right insult the fans of the source materiel and it feels like a film.

If it had come out, maybe, ten years ago, even with the effects of the time, it would have been alright. That is because it's main problem was its formulaic structure. Every character, plot twist and development has been done before, ad infinitum. It comes across as if the writers just watched Iron man, the original Superman and then Van Helsing. Threw the scripts into a blender and then use a Find / Replace function to get the cast names right. There was nothing new or original here.

And again, as predictable as that is the film was an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. I had fun in the theater, even all alone I sat back and watched. Coming out I didn't feel robbed or disappointed that I spent money on it. I liked it.

And this is my problem with not wanting to watch Transformers 3. My expectations are so low and even then I'm afraid I can be disappointed. That takes an epic amount of effort. If a critically panned film, accused of destroying the Comic Book movie itself, can entertain someone like me how bad must Transformers be?

In summation Green Lantern, if you know you're going to a generic comic book superhero movie and with everything you expect from that, is a fun way to kill a lazy afternoon. As long as you don't take it too seriously, and know a little about the comic.

Transformers 3 again

I am painfully aware that my last ramble made about as much sense as replying "monkey's are funny" to the question of "how meny fingers am I holding up?"

It had been a long day and I wasn't thinking straight, or beyond "Hate Hate, Kill Kill now please!"

Allow me to expand:-

I think the casting of Rosie whatever in Transformers 3 Dark of The Moon is the thing I am most dreading. I was not, in any way, inspired with confidence when I first heard she got the part because she was a Victoria secret model and turned up for the audition in her underwear. After seeing the promotional images and the couple of clips that have found their way onto the internet I just want this film to go away.

I didn't think it was going to be possible for Bay to find a worse actress than Fox, but he did.

I'd like to believe that I was a sensible young man, with the right priorities. If not necessarily in the right order, but I find both this blow up doll and the vacuous piece of wood that was Fox two of the most repulsive creatures on the planet.

Having to watch these two attempt to act is on par with having my wisdom teeth removed through my nose. While Fox wasn't given much to do but stand there and scream "SAM!" really loud and from the looks of things that's this girls job description too that's not a good thing.

It saves us from the painful acting, but sets the women empowerment movement back about two hundred years. For craps sake, hitting them with a frying pan would be an improvement.

Hell there was an episode of the original Transformers with Carly on Cybertron. She had her car disintegrated beneath her and then busted her ankle trying to run away. That version was more empowered. Hell, while Spike (read Sam) had to carry her a lot of the way it was her computer kills that was able to hack their way through the door.

When a cartoon from the 1980's, especially one that had episodes like The Girl who Loved Powerglide, treated women better than these films seem to, oh boy.

Now let me be clear I'm still about 12 hours away from seeing this turkey, and I'm actually trying to talk myself into it. Does that explain how I feel? I'm one of the biggest Transformers fans you're likely to meet and I'm so disillusioned by the trailers and spoilers I'm about ready to wash my hands of the whole thing. Not even the positive early reviews can convince me 100 percent.

I don't want to go into a film doubting if I'm going to like it. I'll take a risk on a DVD, when I can hit the pause button and take a break but the commitment behind a film in the cinema is a bit too much. Where I live its a fifteen min journey to the nearest theater, by bus. Then there's the time invested watching it (two and a half hours), getting back. It's a whole afternoon, an afternoon where I can't write, read or do anything else but sit in a darkened room watching an oversized TV.

To continue my sob story, there's no one to watch it with. If I'm going to do this I want to be sure I'm going to enjoy it. I don't want to come out of the cinema grumbling. The last film made me delusional to the point where I imagined there was something positive. I accepted that, just so I would go to see a film again.

So what positives are there. Leonard Nimoy. He's back in Transformers, this is a good thing. From what I've heard though... it's a cameo. Ugh. The backing cast are excellent, and are under used. How do I know they are under used? BECAUSE THIS IS A FILM ABOUT ROBOTS FIGHTING. They're not the stars of this film, they are cameos. Thats it. If they're not cameos then this isn't Transformers is it. Much like the last two the focus is on the humans, not the bloody robots we want to see. We've paid to see robots fighting, not humans.

I can just tell all the time is going to be spent on this guest cast, rather than establishing the Transformers. This is the third film, and new Transformers on both sides with no establishing facts.

I can take any of the positive points and show them to be crap, and I haven't even seen the film. This is bad. Extraordinarily bad people.

Forget it. I will catch this on DVD, but unless I hear a glowing review I can respect forget it.

Transformers 3. The warning signs.

Looking back on it I was incredibly kind to the second Transformers movie. It really was one of the worse films I've ever seen, I have over used the skip function on the DVD and it's just empty, soulless and pathetic

There is no hiding the fact that Transformers exist solely to sell toys, but the reason it's survived for so long and well loved by hard core fans like myself is the depth of work gone into it. Look at how well written Beast Wars and Animated was. A good group of writers can really access the potential Transformers has. Aliens, wars that have lasted millions of years, sacrifices, struggles, morality, the list is endless.

One of the more interesting points had always been, however stereotyped, everyone of the transformers, Autobots and Decepticons, had their own characters. The cowardly Starscream, the heroic Optimus, the overconfident Powerglide, the arrogant Skylynx, eminently logical Shockwave, monotone Soundwave, the list goes on. The point of that is everyone has their own favorites, every transformer looks and behaves differently.

The reason I mentioned those two important points is that is what people like about Transformers. Yes there's the whole giant robots beating the crap out of each other, but under that is the diversity and scale of this war.

On paper Bay should be the perfect person for this. His utter lack of subtly, over reliance on clichéd characters and love of really big explosions is exactly what is needed. And that's why these films haven't worked. Look at Kenneth Branagh as the director of Thor. Would you have expected that to work as well as it did? How about Simon Pegg's scene stealing performance as Scotty, the best thing about that movie, never would have called it. Peter Jackson's biggest film before LOTR was the Frighteners and Bad Taste. Breaking expectations like this has proven to be a good idea. It shows how someone can look deeper and produce something others wouldn't necessarily see.

This is why Bay is precisely the wrong person for these films, he churns this sort of film out in his sleep. It's like hiring Roland Emmerich to do another disaster movie or Shyamalan to do an episode of the twilight zone. There's nothing new they're going to bring to the table, just churn out the same old crap in a different wrapper.

Having this guy do the third one is rubbing salt on an old wound. What's worse is, reading rumours and spoilers show that he hasn't learnt anything. Even when he knows the second film failed on every level he misses why. Sure the Twins were bad, but so were the parents, and it was only after massive fan backlash that he backtracked on the whole Leo Spitz character and canned him.

Still there is one thing that really sets off alarm bells, the romantic interest. Megan Fox's Mikaela Banes was horrendous. She can't act for spit, the character was ignorant to the point of idiocy and was there simply as eye candy for horny teenagers. There was absolutely zero chemistry between her and Sam and just felt like a love interest shoe horned in for the sake of it. No secret there, but Fox has gone.

Leaving us with Carly, played by, god help us, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. I did not think it was possible to cast someone worse than Fox, all we've seen is the trailer and it hurts. Physically painful. All we see is her in expensive and revealing dresses that aren't even close to practical.

She is going to destroy this film. and after everything we know that really worries me.

X-Men

With the new film X-men First Class doing quite well for itself in the Cinema I just want to mention something.

Now over the years I've tried to get into X-men, one version or another. The comics, the 90s cartoon, the films and I have one thing to point out. It's incredibly dull. Sorry to all the Marvel fans out there who think its the best thing since sliced bread, but it's not.

The whole thing is a one trick pony. Mutants as a metaphor for those rejected by society. Congratulations Stan Lee that was slightly witty, and very risky for the time (1960's) what next? Urm? You have a vast cast of characters with a variety of social and personal disorders staring in what basically boils down to a Soap Opera.

Now I give the original concept a thumbs up, even if I can't get behind the science (and when I can legitimately question Comic book science, worry deeply) but a concept can only last so long. Sooner or later you have to develop it, fertilize it, let it grow. Where has the Concept gone? Sure the Characters have changed (then been reset, changed again and reset again, repeat as needed) but where has the single witty part of the story gone. Have Mutants been more or less accepted, has the hatred increased or wained? Nothing and that's my biggest problem with the whole stinking Marvel Universe.

Here, let me expand on that point. It's an established fact (sorry to say) that the people in the Marvel Universe are rock stupid, arrogant, bigoted, ignorant, fools. That is, if I was being kind to them. The only reasonable people seem to be the mutants. It's a very us verses them mentality, especially when most comic and science fiction fans feel alienated by certain members of society. Just once I would like to see someone form New York that supports, or is even on the fence, with Spiderman. seeing the good he does and point out that he's just a person. He can make mistakes. Or someone from the public argue that mutants can't help being born that way and just because they've got fantastic night vision doesn't mean they are the spawn of satan.

It's this very one sided and bias view that Marvel seems to have (and X-Men spearheads) that puts me off the whole idea. It's so predictable, whenever someone does eventually speak up for the minorities (that always seem to be around every corner and under every rock) they turn out to be a closet Mutant (read homosexual, dyslexic, jew or whatever). The whole attitude is incredibly dated. Just to make things worse, much like the horrendous One More Day debacle, there seems to be a status quo in the Marvel universe. While DC likes to reboot the whole franchise every few years (long story) to shake things up a bit (thats the short version) Marvel always hits the reset button, that or spawn a whole new universe hoping to draw people into reading.

So in summation I dislike Marvel, mostly because of X-Men and find the new movie pointless. Most importantly it seems that the X-men franchise is taking place outside of the Marvel movie universe. Meaning that other than a few references it doesn't look like Joss Whedon's going to be playing in that sand box in the upcoming Avengers movie (thank God).

Doctor Who Mid season

Okay, I hate to say this but that was predictable.

Every twist and turn I could foresee easily. I'm not going to give any spoilers here but come on, give me a break. There are still a lot of questions, and I'm going to ask one in a moment, but at just about every point I rolled my eyes.

It was well acted, produced and written, but sadly predictable.

That wasn't the only disappointment here. I was really looking forward to the Doctor going to war. Serious war, pulling out the weapons he used in the Time War. A Gauntlet, or a Rod. Hell something, He's peeved, seriously, can you thing of a better time to show that sort of thing off? It would be interesting, show just how deadly the Doctor could be. We know how dangerous he can be with just a screwdriver, imagine him armed! See what I mean by disappointing?

Okay, here we go. The real problem. Why? What was this all for? A war against the Doctor. First of all that's really, really stupid. Then again one man's hero is another's villain I get that but why go to war with him? That's more than poking a bear, its sticking your head into the Lions mouth, kicking it in the nuts and then blaming the bear. What could they possibly, possibly do that makes him that big a threat?

The big point of the Doctor is that he only comes after those that deserve it. He's not some psychopath that obliterates planets for a laugh. There has got to be a reason for this. Something. The bad guys (or should I say woman) even admit's that he's a good man. For fucks sake, no one wants to be the bad guy. Kidnapping pregnant women and stealing children from them my god in heaven, there is no moral right in that. Why were they so afraid of him?

I hope we find an answer to that. Another question I hope we get some sort of answer to is why the Doctor didn't check. It would be the first thing I would have done. Hell I'd have torn the computers and the child's DNA appart looking for the smallest thing. They had the child a month. A freaking month, not to mention the whole pregnancy. They could have done anything. Heck why not just plant a bomb, or a black hole, or something on the asteroid to kill everyone.

It's not that difficult. It's only the fact that these priests are militantly stupid, arrogant and so enamoured of a ridiculously complex and overwrote plan that they forget Occam's Razor (the logical idea that a straight line is the most likely path between to points). Just kill him. It's not that hard. As powerful as a Time Lord is it's not like he just regenerate in a god damn vacum. Detonate the whole asteroid and kill everyone. Leave the Doctor afloat in space, but no they have to be over complicated and make this predictably complex mess a solution.

Then again "Let's Kill Hitler" looks intersting, shame we have to wait four months

Stargate Universe, continued

People are actually reading my blog, this is a surprise to me. Mostly though these people are commenting on my Opinion of Stargate Universe, disagreeing with me and telling me it was quite good once you got into it.

You know what, thank you. It's always good to hear others opinions and see the discussion form another point of view. Honestly that's why I started this blog and that people are willing to hammer it out with me is fantastic.

So, I'm going to outline my problems with SGU and the things I liked about it and I invite anyone commenting to tackle me head on. Please, I want to like Science Fiction. I'm not some hate filled bitter fool that only rants about bad things because I hate everything.

Alright so first I'll go over the good points, as I see them:-

• Fresh outlook. After ten years of the original SG-1 it was time for a change. The actors knew it, the crew knew it and so did the studio. It was an impressive feat that the show made it that far. Lets be honest, the first couple of years was mediocre at best. By the end we had a well developed mythology, interesting and diverse characters and finally a sense of achievement and wonder at a new universe that was wide open to us. That's where Universe came in and it was a bold move. One I can respect and admire.
• The cast. The cast sold the situation to me. They could act and their attitude, even in the smallest part, carried the loneliness and homesick desperation that they had to be feeling. Some were a bit ropey at the start, but that was because they were still finding their legs and the writers were pining down their personality.
• The set. Destiny, as a ship, wasn't that original but it was an impressive set. It felt like an ancient derelict, held together with bailing wire and hope. The numerous malfunctions and lack of maintenance added an atmosphere of desperation that worked for the show. It wasn't the old star trek painted boards and gizmos with flashing lights. It felt real, almost as good as Serenity back on Firefly (I say almost because that was impossible to beat, it wasn't a set they built the whole damn ship!)
• The aliens. They really were alien, in motivation action and appearance. They even had their own language, one that we never understood. After the first year of SG-1 every world spoke english. Perfect english. Occasionally there was an obscure written language but the Ancient intergalactic race just happened to speak our language was a little too convenient. Much like the effort that went into the Wraith of Atlantis the creators spent a lot of time creating these creatures and did a very good job.

So that's what I liked about the show. It had a great overall atmosphere, had all the potential to be a really fantastic show. So why did I celebrate the fact it was cancelled? Well on to the bad and I'll show you.

• Copying from Battlestar Galactica. I despise the 2003 remake of BSG. I mean hate it, with every fibre of my being. It based it's whole appeal on the arc plot and overall story line and did everything wrong with it. This isn't the place to go into that, but I want to point out it was successful. Stargate Universe had already taken a lot of risks, alienating a good portion of its fan base by "Replacing" Atlantis hadn't helped (the truth is MGM canned Atlantis thanks to falling viewers and the success of the SG-1 TV movies meant taking the show in another direction, but the popular opinion was that Universe replaced Atlantis) These risks meant they had to guarantee enough viewers to make it profitable for the almost bankrupt MGM. So we got a derivative of Battlestar instead of a new Stargate. Unlikeable characters, soap opera like developments, stupidity for the sake of creating conflict, relationships that had no point in the overall plot, plot developments coming out of the blue and overly convenient resolutions producing plot holes the size of the grand canyon.
• Convenience. How do you effectively nuke any tension or sense of abandonment? "Hey what about those communication stones we brought with us?" Within two episodes they had to pull that out of their backside. Now Atlantis did it right, having the city cut off from Earth without a hope of contact. Lost and alone. Now yes doing that would have been too much like the first spin off, but that should have been a warning sign on just how short the legs for the concept were. The communication stones weren't the only culprit, the ship itself was the largest deux ex machina I've seen in years. "We're running out of water! Oh wait, the ships found some", "We need power! No, sorry the ships found that too.", "Food? Good thing we're suddenly heading to a jungle planet." Then there's the episode 'Time', where the only cure from alien parasites in the crew's blood is the venom from flying squid monsters that just happen to be on this planet. The only way to know this? A handy dandy Time travel accident, that magically happens. There's suspension of disbelief and then there's asking us to ignore common sense in favour of bullshit. By the end there's no tension in the show because you know the writers will pull ANY crap they can.

Still not finished.

• Predictable developments. In the very first episode we were introduced to a state senator (I think he was at least) and his hot daughter. When it was obvious that two of the lead Characters liked her we knew what was going to happen. A dead senator, a devastated young woman and a love triangle in which she'll make the wrong move. It was played by the numbers soap opera. When they abandoned Rush on an alien planet, next to a crashed ship no less, you just new he'd return. Almost everything that happened, without any tension to speak of, was played by the numbers. When it wasn't it the whole plot thread came out of nowhere. No development or structure. Just dropped out of no where. The trick is to find a balance between the two, to have us asking questions or defying expectations. Not leaving us 95% bored and 5% confused.

Alright, now I admit I'm being hard with these bad points, and the show did improve during the second year. It improved a lot, but it had already lost me as a viewer. I agree that after dawdling along in first gear it finally stepped up to second and occasionally third as the axe fell, but that didn't help. Not when you need to be a race car. This show had potential, and yes some good moments, but that doesn't make it good. Just watchable. It needed a lot more time than it had to get good.

The reason I was happy after hearing it had cancelled however comes mostly from the first bad point. I carried a lot of my dislike of BSG over to this show that, at times, felt like a carbon copy. I was very much afraid that we were seeing a new trend in Sci-Fi, fortunately, with the loss of SGU, this is looking less and less likely. From what I can tell in the second year it started to shake off the BSG connection and get back to it's roots, adding more humour and positive developments. All good things but too little, far to late.

Alright on to a point made in the comments of What happened to Stargate Universe:- The rumour that the BBC was behind nixing SGU for religious beliefs, where did you hear that? The BBC has been actively looking for gritty Science fiction and various dramas for years. Defying Gravity, the Survivors remake and Outcast to name three high profile ones off the top of my head. Those three were abject failures. On the other hand Merlin, Life on Mars and Doctor Who (and spin offs) have been massive successes. I'm fairly sure, if they had the money, the BBC would have snapped up the show. They didn't because BSkyB (if they are still called that) poached it and then realised they had a stinker. If any single broadcaster is responsible it's SyFy for being incompetent tossers and chopping its science fiction output in favour of professional wrestling and bad TV movies.

Finally, it's true that SGU was making money, as far as I can tell. It was quite profitable, and was getting better as time went on. But again SyFy wanted to change it's direction and MGM's books were so bad they're now selling off the film rights to James Bond! SyFy squeezed MGM until they had to pull out of production.

So that's SGU Autopsy. A show with potential. It was struggling, after a lot of trouble, to reach the right level only to get cut off at the knees.

Power Rangers:- Demon Wars. A Fan fiction project of mine

What follows is a sort of Fake Questions and answers session. I've wanted to clarify a few things about my EPIC Power Rangers Fan fiction for a while now and this seems to be the best way to do it.

If you're interested in reading it Here's a link:- http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-22175/MountainKing+Power+Rangers+Demon+Wars+-+The+Dragon+s+Green+Fire.htm

Now on with the Questions

Q:- Right, so Mountain King is it? What possessed you to write a Power Rangers Crossover

A:- I'm always on the look out for original crossovers, trying my best to produce them. After all there's only so many times you can read the same halloween story. The biggest influence on this one came from Lewis Lovhog and his web based TV show, History of Power Rangers.
I was a big fan as a kid and watching made me track down a few seasons. First online then a couple of boxed sets I found on the cheap. It all sort of spiralled out from there.

Q:- And again you used Dawn?

A:- A lot of Buffy fans had Dawn pegged from the first season she showed up. She was a whiny brat who's character trait seemed to be screaming for her big sister to help. Put frankly she was so one note she never felt like se belonged.
They did try to develop her though and there are a few episodes that really show that. A good one to look at is Potential in season seven. She proves that she has what it takes to fight and even when she's over her head the "Brat" keeps a calm head. At the End of Season Six she picks up a Sword and handles it professionally.
Dawn was an underwritten character and deserved a lot more to do than scream pointlessly and get captured or kidnapped when the script needed it.

Q:- and it has noting to do with the Actress?

A:- Are you blind man? Of course it does!

Q:- Moving on, if Dawn is an under written character, what about the others you've used in PR:-DW?

A:- They are all characters that needed a lot more doing with them. Cassie Fraiser just disappeared, not even a mention in cannon when her adopted mother died. It was like she vanished off the face of the planet, and for all the potential she had that's a shame. She's probably the most evolved person on the planet. She needed to be explored.
Same for Sari, she was nothing more than a plot macguffin. She had potential as a character that never matured. And the less said about Faith's wasted opportunities the better.

Q:- Faith's wasted opportunities? What about the Season 8 comics?

A:- You mean the dedicated character assassination? Not just of Faith but everyone involved. Those comics seem taylor-made to piss long term fans off. I'm serious, every choice the cast makes in this one goes so far against what we know it's not true. Buffy funds the Slayer army with a series of bank robberies and sleeps with an underage girl. Willow is either spending her days with the biggest mistake ever, Kennedy or going back to being and evil witch. Xander starts off dating a Slayer in Training and ends up with the jailbait Dawn (which is not the way things should be, for any number of reasons) Faith just wanders around with Giles, and nothing to do but clean up a mess that's been tacked on to the over all plotline.
Don't even get me started on that mess. It seems without a practical effects budget to worry about the writers went mad, including laser cannons, apocalyptic death scenes and ridiculous monsters for the hell of it. The biggest draw about Buffy was the Gothic monsters in a modern-day setting. Not a comic book universe where you can whip out death rays and giant teenage girls because "it looked cool".

Q:- So, not a fan I take it?

A:- No. Not at all. I'd be the first to admit Buffy, as a series, had it's ups and downs. While seasons Four and Six were not up to the standard set by the others (especially the first three years) the comic is such a massive failure it harms the mythology rather than helps and I'm including the Angel and Spike spin off books in that.

Q:- A lot of people seem to like the comics…

A:- Good for them, they can have their opinion, mine on the other hand is that Early Smallville is better.

Q:- Ouch. So how does Season 8 fit into your story.

A:- It doesn't. In fact the main point of Power Rangers Demon Wars and most of my Buffy stories is to replace Season 8. Undoing the mistakes that annoy me as best I can. I'm not as good a writer as Joss Whedon, but as the season 8 comic was coming out he was working on far too many projects and they ALL suffered because of it.

Q:- All

A:- Well Dollhouse was still-born, resuscitated, bedridden on life-support and then killed just as it was getting heathy. The other comics he was / is working on were / are also seriously flawed. In my opinion.

Q:- Nice cover

A:- Thanks

Q:- So this is all about sticking it to the Season 8 comics and giving the underdogs a chance to shine. I get that, but what's with the episode format thing?

A:- It's sort of a challenge I've set myself. This is supposed to be a sort of "Missing series" for Power Rangers. Like all PR series it's going to have arc plots and over all storylines. The only difference it I'm the only one at the helm instead of a team of script writers and studio executives getting in the way.

Q:- Isn't one of your problems with the comic the fact that they went silly without a visual effects budget.

A:- Yes it is, but don't forget this is Power Rangers, not Buffy. It's supposed to be this hyper active over blown extravaganza. In Power Rangers your supposed to have giants stomping cities.

Q:- Is that why your doing Fan Art for it?

A:- Sort of I want some sort of visual reference, to help me as much as anyone.

Q:- Who's Marcus and will we get to see him in your art?

A:- Marcus is a stab in the dark. An Original Character based on mashing a few others together and seeing what I get out of it. Most notably a younger version of Marcus Cole, from Babylon 5, went into him. I created him because writing a Dawn based story that overwrites season 8 means giving her a romance. She's the right age and it something she needs if she's going to develop as a person.
Dawn needs a relationship, she's too powerful otherwise, almost inhumanly so. It adds a dimension and I couldn't pull another Ranger into it without the whole thing becoming fan service. Besides I've been able to flesh out the mythos with him. Giving him a connection to A'Zores has driven a point home that's going to be important later.
Also yes, I will be doing something with him, art wise, but not yet. I want the Rangers finished first.

Q:- Before we go any spoilers you want to get off your chest?

A:- Ohh lots, Well I've already told everyone there's not going to be a Pink Ranger. Mostly because its an all girl Ranger team, but there's also the problem with putting too many crossovers into the mix. Speaking of the upcoming Red Ranger will be a boy, the token male as it were. The others are going to have to get used to him and his own interesting back story. Shall we say he has a history with Faith and Dawn knows more about it than even she does.
Also there's the White Power Coin to remember, that's going to play an important part much later on.
On the other side there's the Warlord. He's not going to take these constant defeats lightly and his arrival is going to really shake things up!
What else…, Buffy will be making and appearance before the end, bringing her own ideas. So will a few others from the Buffy-verse, muddying the waters for all they are worth.
But before all that we have to deal with Faith and a little thing that's been hanging over her head since the beginning.
Best of all those spoilers don't give ANYTHING away.

Q:- Don't give anything away, are you sure?

A:- Not a thing. After what I've got planned those aren't even blips on the radar.

Q:- So you're just teasing us. Just how many more episodes are there going to be to fit that all in.

A:- It's fluid I think theres about thirty in total at the moment. I've just added two more to give a bit more depth to a few things but I might be able to cut back elsewhere, but you never know.
When I say strap in for a ride, I mean it!

Elisabeth Sladen RIP

It's been a bad few weeks for fans of the Classic series of Doctor Who.

First Nicholas Courtney passes away and now Elisabeth Sladen. Now, I know I'm way behind with this, but I just couldn't think of what to say about it.

I still can't. I never met her and there is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Everyone involved in Doctor Who has come out in droves to praise this, by all accounts, remarkable woman. People the world over have had something to say in one form or another, just as I'm left blank.

She was a fantastic actress, a great person and made an impact on so many lives. There isn't much more I can say.

Well there is one. She got her own special memorial episode with a load of interviews and moving content. I'm not saying that's wrong, but Courtney deserved one too!

Season 6 of Doctor who, and so it begins...

Holy....

Alright, we all remember the Slitheen, right? Those pathetic farting monsters that were about as threatening as a small field mouse going squeak? Good

We also remember Moffat's last epic monsters, the Weeping Angels? The galactic leap in scary they were? Good again.

These new guys are another leap forward. We've all seen them and they look brilliant, well they're written even better! I was honestly stunned at how these things looked, moved, hell even their existence is beyond what you expect. There is the old joke that children hide behind the sofa, this time around they'd be too scared to look away! I won't be surprised if, these things alone, cause concerned parents to complain. This isn't just nightmare fuel, its Industrial strength sci-fi horror.

This is Doctor Who as it should be!

Then, on top of the single most terrifying, original, monster in the last forty years of the show, we get the rest of the story. I can't go into it, not without spoilers, but I'm still wrapping my brains around the twists and turns made during the last half hour alone. Last season I praised everyone involved. It was fantastic, this time we don't just hit the ground running we're at the speed of sound and leaving safety far behind.

This episode alone shows us one important thing though. Under the banner of Russel T. Davies Doctor Who was a children's show. Little boys and girls liked the funny, silly, man in a blue police box. Now he can still be silly, funny and bonkers but at the same time this is the Doctor their family knew, and he's not someone to take lightly. One of my favorite classic adventures is The Curse of Fenric. In it the Doctor defeats the source of all Evil with a game of chess. For the first time in the new show I've seen that Doctor here. Matt Smith and Steven Moffat have conspired to pull the whole thing up by it's boot straps.

Wellcome back to Classic Who, Lady's and Gentlemen!

Come on next week! please! Come on!

The Governator... what?

This thing is either one of the best jokes out there, or one of the single worst ideas in history for a cartoon.

This, put simply, cannot be real. It's Saturday Morning Watchmen, it has to be. Let's look at this critically. We have Arnold (with the powers of MASK) Vs Michael Bay inspired Transformers ripoffs. It's not even trying to be subtle, if this is really supposed to be made... words fail

AHHHHHHHHHH

God, good god in heaven they did it. I had thought it was a joke, no seriously, I never expected them to actually make it.

I am of course talking about Smurfs, the movie, in 3D no less...

This is so wrong I want to throw up

Come along Benton...

Almost six years ago now I was almost ran over by Boris Johnson as he rode his bike down a london road. This has absolutely nothing to do with story I'm about to tell, other than it happened while I was standing in a cue. This cue was to get into a collectors shop where three Doctor Who companions were signing autographs.

Long before NuWho made it popular I could be found digging though second hand videos looking for old releases of Classic Who adventures. Once every so often I'd come across one and revel in what I had unearthed, with great difficulty and effort I had a smattering of stories I could enjoy. I couldn't pass up the chance to meet at least one companion, three at once was just too great for words.

After standing in line for almost an hour I realised I hadn't a clue what to say or do. I didn't even have anything for the to sign! Quickly casting about I saw a ridiculously overpriced envelope, five minutes later I was standing before one of my heroes; Nicholas Courtney, otherwise known as the Brigadier.

Since that meeting I've heard several interviews and commentaries by the man and every time I have my respect for him has grown. He enjoyed the character and the place it played in British Pop culture, was always ready to talk with fans and both in and out of character always a gentleman. It was always obvious that he had tremendous fun with his work and unlike many actors in Science fiction perfectly comfortable with it being his defining role.

It is with great sadness I write this as, yesterday, Tuesday 22 February, 2011. He passed away. Goodbye sir, if there's any room up there I'll buy you a pint in a good few years...

Nicholas Courteny

1929 - 2011

The death of Star Trek

I would like to, if I may, give an aside to the Vulcan rambling rant I've still to finish. A few months ago I was writing a fan fiction story and, inspired by the Asimov book I was reading at the time, predicted the fall of the Federation.
Another writer read my little aside and it sparked their imagine. To be honest it did the same to me. I've recently started to re-watch some of my old Star Trek DVD's and it's becoming more and more obvious to me that the Federation is teetering on the very brink of disaster.
I'm going to present several arguments that show that while their ideals might be pure the Federation has a lot of difficulty living up to them.

My first evidence comes from two very different episodes. ST:ING's The Measure Of A Man and ST:VOY's Author, Author. Both episodes deal with the lawful rights of two artificial lifeforms. In The Measure of a Man Data is forced to fight the legal ruling that he is the property of Starfleet, in effect a slave. While in Author, Author the holographic Doctor has to fight for the rights of another lifeform. The point being that while we can, in the Doctor's case with some difficulty, accept them socially legal rights have to be spelt out.
I bring this up for two reasons, first is that even with about twelve to fourteen years between the two episodes it is obvious that the Federation legal system didn't have the foresight to use Data's case as a precedent, in fact they do the opposite! Rather than the sensible thing of assume they have rights until its proven they don't (otherwise known as innocent until proven guilty) they dismiss whatever possible rights may exist out of hand. The second reason is even worse; In Author, Author we are provided a glimpse into what might have been Data's fate had he lost his battle. The Doctor's fellow programs were downgraded from medical practitioners to miners on harsh and lifeless asteroids, where other lifeforms would not survive. In other words, slaves.
The Federation is in effect using it's advanced technology to build a slave race. I can't think that anything goes against it's ideas of personal freedom and discovery more.

Next is Star Trek Insurrection. While a total cluster-fuck of a bad film it also signals another step on the Federations path to damnation. While the Dominion War was being fought several clandestine projects happened to be given the go ahead. Section 31's bio warfare for example. The Sonar project in the Briar Patch was another. After it was discovered that environmental conditions in the nebular had vast healing abilities certain members of the Federation council decided to harvest those conditions. As well as being bullshit there was one slight problem; the indigenous inhabitants, but as they were a colony and not a pre warp civilisation the Federation didn't have any laws against moving them.
This is so blatantly wrong it's not true. As soon as you believe your rights are more important than someone else's you are in the wrong, if you believe your privileges are more important you're a villain and if you think you're wants are more important you are a monster. Justifications be damned, if you want to boot a civilisation off a planet where they lived for centuries because you want to live a little bit longer you are a monster. That it was done by a handful of self serving Federation officers is beyond stupidity and goes against the sprit of the Laws of the Federation by twisting the letter. (Prime Directive anyone)

Third is the composition of the Fleet, including the introduction of military vessels.
Starfleet was always an expedition force first, a scientific second and then way behind that armed to only protect themselves. They spent a lot of time developing shield technologies and targeting systems, hoping to disable enemy ships rather than destroy. As they began exploring further and further they built bigger ships, that were more and more self reliant. Giving them greater range and versatility.
ST:TNG's Galaxy class is immense, with whole decks given over to entertainment and leisure as well as hydroponic labs, stellar observatories and even a god damn zoo! The Enterprise D is more of a flying town than a spaceship. Meanwhile Voyager should be a better ship, after all it is more modern with advanced computers and was launched about three weeks before it was catapulted into the Delta Quadrant. It was top of the range. Now first of all anyone with a ounce of creativity would have used an Excelsior class, outdated and about to be decommissioned (and for good reason) on one last mission that is far longer that anyone expected.
Enough bashing on Voyager, the point is the newer ship is a lot smaller. It doesn't even have a navigation room when it's launched. Rather than build bigger and more generalised ships Starfleet starts building dedicated vessels that are limited to one duty. I'm not sure what Voyager was designed for but it shows a very limited out look from the designers. This lack of versatility is a problem, made even worse as time passes. The lack of size is another problem, it is often a sign that resources are dwindling. Smaller ships might be more energy efficient but why is that needed, unless dilithium is becoming an issue? If it is that's a problem.
Also the introduction of dedicated warships could provide a problem. More than once (DS9's Paradise Lost and Star Trek IV to name but two examples) a military coup almost succeeded within the Federation. With actual military ships who knows what could happen. Also please note that with multifunctional ships the Federation has won every war it's gotten involved in. With warships who knows what they could do and just how long until other races get worried that the "weak and soft" Federation is finally showing it's teeth?
And if resources are dwindling how long until the Federation needs to expand to survive?

Next problem focuses on a little issue raised in the ST:TNG episode Relics. Scotty, after being rescued from a crashed ship's transporter buffer, reveals something. While LaForge follows the guidance manual that Scotty wrote Scotty didn't put all his information on paper.
This is a little thing at first, and a good joke. The problem is why hasn't anyone else figured that out. The best of the best, LaForge, hasn't expanded on the instruction manual. Instead he slavishly followed it. If Scotty hadn't told him he would never have thought of it. In another generation or so that knowledge will be lost forever.
Even worse; LaForge admits that Impulse engine design hasn't changed for more than a hundred years and that a fifty year old transport could out manoeuvre the pride of the Federation!
This is a deviating admission. The propulsion systems in a starship is one of the most important things. They're still using Warp Drive and reaching the outer edge of that technologies useful output. The whole basis of Federation transport technology is obsolete, they can't expand any further without a massive leap in faster than light travel. Transwarp or quantum slipstream are both solutions that Voyager proposed, however both fail. Federation ships are too weak to survive that technology.

There are more, however they don't matter. I trust I've made my point. Now I'm willing to chalk all this up to bad writing, really bad writing, but the problem is what that adds up to. The Federation is rotting, while it's still successful in diplomacy, science and even war it won't last. Sooner or later it's going to have to collapse.

This would make a great film, the end of the Federation we could follow a Captain who idolised the Kirk and Picard, dreaming of a long gone golden age as his ideals collapse around him. Ending with a Star Base on fire, just like Rome and the fall of their empire. The final symbolic destruction of a dream. That's something I would pay to see.

It's not like I'm the first one to see it, Like I said this came from a discussion I had with a fellow writer, but much more importantly Roddenberry saw it too. That was the point of Andromeda. Imagine what would happen if we actually had the background we cared about. More than forty years of the show destroyed in a way that celebrated it.

Think about that

Thomas

The A-Team Movie

Okay, I admit it.
This is one film I've wanted to see for awhile. The A-Team is one of those iconic 80s shows everyone makes fun of but love. We know all the jokes; impossible plans, cliché lines, an impossible amount of firepower and no one being hurt. The list goes on, the show was a slice of the 80s with all the stupid that entails.

So, when they decided to do a film we knew they were trying to cash in on the tail end of the nostalgia for the era. And you know what they did a good job. Sure as a film it was a failure, the plot was predictable, film work mediocre, editing kind of crude and the acting wasn't going to win any oscars. But that's not the point of this film. It's a love letter to the show.

There isn't a single scene that isn't loaded with in jokes and over the top silliness. It fires of almost as much as Airplane and while it might not appeal to all I guarantee there is at least one that will have you laughing. A good example is Murdock's escape; we start with a skit on the 3d movie craze were in the middle of at the moment, only this time they use the two tone glasses rather than the stereo-scopic we have now, the film uses the classic A-Team theme and two of the actors are Reginald Barclay and G.F. Starbuck. Two other roles played by the main actors. Then, as if to rub our noses in it, the escape hum-vee is driven through the wall and they race to a waiting transport.

The film just doesn't stop throwing things at you. From the impossible (and I mean impossible) helicopter chase at the beginning, past the high speed truck hijacking and through the transport being shot down and the mid-air drop of a tank in the middle of a dogfight. To the raid on a office building and, finally, the sinking of a tanker by a psycho with a rocket launcher. If ever the description of a roller coaster ride was more apt it was probably just a guy recording an actual ride!

As for the actors, Liam Neeson is a fantastic Hannibal, perfectly channeling Peppard. Bradley Cooper, on the other hand, makes the role his own. Dirk Benedict was good but I could argue Cooper does a better job, at least he does a better job with the accents he has to pull off.You can buy that he's supposed to be a master of disguise. Unfortunately the other two aren't in the same league. Quinton Jackson is an even worse actor than Mr T and never quite sells the role, it isn't even a bad impression of the character. It just falls flat. Meanwhile Sharlto Copley makes Murdock looks like an actor, pretending to be insane. Dwight Shultz was able to walk the razor edge between parody and genuinely insane with his portrail.

The villains were impossibly one dimensional, over the top, pantomime characters that were so predictable it wasn't true. Any crude attempt to engineer a twist was so predictable it was pathetic. Whatever character development they attempted, whoever it was, failed incredibly badly and just to round it off the Jessica Biel's character was so under developed I almost expected her to get shot before the end. Then again that would have shown a sign of intelligence, other than "Weee, bang! pretty fireworks!"

Still, for all it's flaws it is a fun film, and that's something to enjoy. It's not trying to make some dull moral message like Avatar or be a over drawn confusing mess like the matrix films. It doesn't even try to expand your horizons like Inception. It just tries to be a fun popcorn movie that has a laugh at everything in sight and succeeds. This is the sort of film Transformers 2 wishes it could be. Entertaining, poking fun at itself and pulling it off with style. While most summer block busters are becoming overly arty and pretentious. It leans agains the corner if the room with a half burnt cigar in its mouth and a baseball cap on at an angle.

I suggest watching it if you can, because it's bad in all the right places. Just like the show was, and that's the best tribute it could have given.

God in fiction

If you will forgive a little indulgence I'm going to examine to recent depictions of God, or God like being, in television. I want to look at how I think it has been done right and been done wrong. These shows are RDM's Battlestar Galactica and Supernatural.

Supernatural was, very quickly, ignored as a fantasy show, cashing in on Buffy fans who missed their gothic demons and monsters. Still it proved to be a lot more than that. Instead it was a very well researched and constructed Victorian biblical horror. However, rather than relegate it to an outdated concept the creators pulled a lot of it into the 21st century.
There's nothing original in that, Doctor Who has, for decades, played the same game. Pulling on characters like the Devil (recently), vampires (that have been around for decades in one form or another) and even Gods (known as the Guardians).

What has made Supernatural interesting is how it treats family. Between them the Winchesters have been through heaven, hell and everything between. They have fought demons, angels, gods, vampires, ghosts and various monsters from across gothic lore. All the while becoming closer and closer. They've betrayed each other, trusted and doubted.

The reason I've gone into all that is to show the challenges. By the fifth year we discover that Armageddon is on the cards and why. The angels have always been preventing the end of the world, but now that god's supposedly left the building they've decided to just let it burn. Bringing forth a final fight between two brothers, Lucifer and Michael to kick start the whole shebang. Choosing the Winchesters as their respective vessels the two angels gear up for the biggest fight in existence. Given that the angel's are described as dicks.

The fight ends, well that's giving too much away. The point is throughout the last episode we get the narrative structure we need. A man, already acknowledged as a prophet, writes the story. At the very end, when the Apocalypse is stopped, he grins, sit's back and vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Now there is still a debate as to if this character was supposed to be God, but I'm going to assume he was. Now His approach was interesting, as he was masquerading as a prophet He saw things that hadn't happened yet. Making Him a valuable asset to the brothers, as He directed them right where he wanted and when. At the end though He sat back and let it happen. We get the impression that He set the board, coached the players and then let them play.

It's an interesting take, the devil is always supposed to be the arch manipulator but here we get the impression that He plays a whole new level of the game. All the time letting people make their own choices. It's interesting, modern and very well thought out.

The problem with God is exactly the same reason for superheroes. It is far easier to create something that stands for our ideals than live up to them. Now if there is a all father creator (and that is a big question all in itself) Supernaturals depiction, of a beginner giving us a start to work from is a good one and far better than the other alternative.

In BSG everything they did was wrong. First of all they began blaming any leap of narrative logic on "the will of the one true God". Things that most of the time we don't really care about because of narrative convenience. Then things stared getting freaky. Rather than the sort of event you can just shrug off things happened that made no reasonable sense. The resurrection of Kara Thrace, the delusions with knowledge of the future, the mysterious song and even the miraculous timing that is littered thought the show. All can be summed up as absolute fucking stupidity. As soon as any god like being starts actively interfering with an issue it moves from belief to fact. When this is done in a science fiction, not fantasy, perspective then motivation must be explored.

But there is one thing more important. Free Will is the most important thing we have. People have fought wars over it, killed, loved, dreamed feared and even dreaded it. The very idea that our actions are our own and that we are responsible for their results is the very corner stone of our culture and social beliefs. To say that god puts his plan above that not only flies against all the classical teachings (which it does) but against our very concept of free will.

Setting the stage is one thing, actively prompting the players is another. You can play the game, MC the event, hell you could even provide the grand prize, but you can't load the dice too. From a moral perspective it is incredibly wrong. From a literary one its worse. Writing "and then God waves a magic wand. Solving the problem" is not only the ultimate in hack writing but it is also the single worst plot development you can come up with. It's trite garbage that was always treated as a running joke in Greek theatre.

When what you're writing was a cliché before Christ was born you redefine the very concept of a hack writer. Supernatural's treatment of God is leagues ahead of the tripe Galactica foisted off on us. Every plot twist regarding Him meant something, even if that twist didn't make sense at first. Ideas that seemed unimportant came back years later as a major development. Seemingly unimportant bits of character development proved to be a vital step in muddying the waters. Casual acquaintances become reoccurring villains or friends. Sometimes both.

Most importantly of all it carries more than just a happy ending. Season 5, while a good ending in itself was also a great launching off point. As all good endings are. There was enough tragedy to make it moving, enough hope to make it uplifting and enough development leading up to it to make you give a damn. Having God hand you the location of a handy home as well as safety from your enemies is not only too neat but had no gravitas. Worst of all it wasn't a reward, it wasn't gained because the Galactica band of misfits earned it. The co-ordinates were given long before they even thought of trying to recover the little girl.

To those of you that praise BSG I implore you look again, look at the crap they tried to foist off on you and realise just how stupid that show really was.

The lost of Caprica YAY!

Ohh I feel vindicated

Now I've deliberately avoided everything I came across with Caprica. I have an intense hatred of RDM's Battlestar Galactica, seriously I loath it with every fibre of my being.
I saw the pilot episode of Caprica and almost went in to a psychotic rage, everything I hated in the show was twisted into something worse. The religious terrorism angle has gotten old, very fast. The massive leaps in convenience and contrivance, leaving plot holes in their wake, have gotten worse. Then there's the angst, oh god the angst. Every character seems to be riddled with angst, and rather than learning from their mistakes and growing, as anyone else would, we still have the hollow soap opera style that drove me batty before.
When you watch a soap opera you know, just know that certain characters will never learn form their actions, never grow and develop and never, ever, think. It is what's known as an "idiot plot" where people make idiot decisions simply to move the emotional plot along. Even if it goes against their character and personality.
In short I can pick this show apart for hours at a time. On any signal subject; from the Cylons (their plan sucks, makes no sense on retrospect and the end goal is apposed to the results they achieve when it works), the Galactica's crew (do they even a gram of sense between them?), the god storyline (urm, why? Seriously I'd love to go toe to toe with the writers on this one), the whole mess with the Final Five (oh the plot holes they had to paste over with clumsy retcons made the whole story look like one big bandage) and every other part of this insult to intelligence.
Caprica is worse, every level seamed to be tailor made for people who didn't like BSG to loath even more. Heck even some of the most obsessive BSG fans hated the show, and the clumsy characters to the point that by the end a three episode marathon to wrap the show up brought in less than a million viewers.
Less than a million, I want anyone reading this to realise that. Less than a million people watched this. Even more people watched the end of Galactica 1980, look it up!
Ahh well, I'll probably get it on DVD sooner or later if only to feel righteous rage at the incompetence.

This does, however, mean have a problem. Syfy has now cancelled two of it's flagship programs very recently. We've also lost Stargate completely, with the proposed Atlantis movie cancelled and very little on the horizon. Only a crappy remake of Being Human on the cards. While the UK is still experiencing a massive sci-fi renaissance the US seems to be ignoring it. Heck even the channel supposedly devoted to science fiction is trying to distance itself from the concept.

Thank god for Doctor Who.