Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen

I've seen Transformers 2. Of course I have, I'm a transformers geek and believe it or not I was looking forward to this even more than Star Trek.

So that was disappointing

Let's do a quick list of the bad and the good:- so first the extraordinary bad

Mudflap and Skidz:- these two should have been killed off. Painfully and preferably by been eaten by Sharkticons. They were racist, irritating

and if you want twin brothers go back to the original and resurrect Sideswipe & Sunstreaker. They had personalities rather than a hodgepodge of bad ideas.

The Mother:- The most stupid human on the planet, she makes Paris Hilton jokes look tame. I was so embarrassed to be in the cinema I actually put my fingers in my ears and hummed. Can she please die between this and the next film.

Generic Cybertronians:- One of the key points of Transformers was that everyone had a character no matter how lose. They were individuals and everyone had their favourite, so why is there's about a thousand generic Deceptions in the final battle, other than to explode.

Too many people:- What characters we do have don't go anywhere. We get one or two lines and then jump back to the pointless "Comedy" that drives you to boredom and disgust.

Megatron:- Megatron is EVIL, he is no ones puppet and will ruthlessly crush anyone. Making him The Fallen's apprentice castrates the guy. In one fell swoop he goes from being the greatest threat ever to a slight annoyance fawning over the chief bad guy... speaking of

The Fallen:- No, The Fallen is not the Liege Maximo okay? He's The Fallen, one of the thirteen original Transformers who was created to guard against entropy but betrayed his God-creator in favour of worshipping chaos. See a interesting character. The Maximo was a big fat slug that sat around plotting. In this we've got some sort of mix, pick one.

Now the Good:-

The fights were interesting. Sort of. What we could make out

While I could go on about how annoyed I was by the so-called comedy relief or how I could survive the gaping plot holes I've got another problem that I want to address in more detail.

Megan Fox.

Now a lot of reviews are saying the film might be bad but at least there's some good visuals. The CGI and this woman come at the top of the list. Yes she looks nice, but she can't act for spit. For the whole film she's set decoration so that people my age, that really should know better, can drool over her.

Being able to look "interesting" while contorting over a motorcycle doesn't make you sexy. The problem is this woman will end up with a handful of Sexiest Women awards. I'm probably weird but I find her about as attractive as road kill. All the lingering shots and robots humping her leg just advertise that she's a sex object. Women aren't objects, how many years is it going to take to beat that into Hollywood producers and hack directors. By making them vapid twits that are attracted to losers and prats they are glamorising willful stupidity. It's annoying.

In summery Transformers 2 is not for Transformers fans, or good taste. It's a popcorn movie designed to waste brain cells. avoid if you can. That or find a petition to STOP MICHAEL BAY directing the next one.