What the hell is this? How is it possible for a show this bad to exist? This is just beyond bad. I mean sure I joke about Star Trek enterprise being un-watchable but this... If I was to come up with a list of bad Sci-Fi shows with things like Flash Gordon, Team Knight Rider and Space precinct this show would be at the bottom of the pack.
It's so bad I'd rather watch anything else but I just can't tear my eyes from this train wreck of a series. The scripting is painful, the plot has more holes than a pair of rotten socks and the acting is literally the worst I have ever seen. The fact that this series has a fan base is a question for the ancient geek gods to ponder over. Good god that there was demand for a third season is beyond stupid. It is a crime that this rancid pile of inadequacy got two whole seasons while Firefly is now ridiculed for fighting for a handful more episodes.
Lets start with the basics; the first series was set in, what I guess, is the year 2285. That magical time where somewhere Captain Kirk and Captain Sheridan also exist. That alone should give you every idea as to how original this "show" is. I say "show" because anyone with half a intellect would recognise this an obscure and particularly brutal form of torture. Every cliché is touched upon and played out to astounding predictability.
Basically the story is humanity has left earth and spread across the solar system. Devolving in to a lawless civilisation governed by self interest. The lawmakers are almost powerless, the police are an empty threat and all that stands between common people and chaos is bounty hunters. Privately employed gun toting morons hired to hunt down criminals and pirates. As you can guess our heroes are a band of these Bounty hunters, flying about in a run down old space ship.
For the first year we follow Dante who decides that, while acting as a Bounty Hunter, he's going to look for his lost son. Searching the solar system for the pirates that took him Dante stumbles upon a wonderful discovery. In the centuries since discovering DNA it has been completely mapped, well almost. The last base pair was a mystery until it was discovered to be the key to becoming divine. I'm not kidding, thanks to this magical bullshit... sorry, I mean plot contrivance, people have all sorts of super powers. Genetic engineering folks, it's not used to fix horrible debilitating diseases just turn you into an extra from Heroes!
After breaking down and weeping in gibbering terror over the mind numbing crap of that concentrated rubbish I moved on to the second series. Trust me that is the best thing to do. The whole first year in less than a full paragraph. Bounty hunting, searching and wacky powers stretched out over twenty episodes. No character development, new ideas or even acting lessons. Believe me I was on my knees before the screen begging for development.
The was development in the second year. Off screen of course. Somehow the giant ship that they fly around in for no reason other than "ohh pretty" spent 15 years in suspended animation in hyperspace. Why? I don't know, maybe they just needed a plot development to ditch half the cast. Everyone, but the most attractive, talentless droning moronic prat of the lot jumped ship. The explanation :- "lost in hyperspace". That's right, all but one of the crew disappear as the ship is in hyperspace. Call me old fashioned but I wouldn't call a form of travel that casually obliterates five sixths of your crew practical. Not to worry, you know that missing son. He just happens to be on the space station that the ship docks at. Alive and well, and aside from the occasional time travelling flashback thanks to his magical powers, perfectly fine.
I want to die. I hate the New BSG but that's my personal choice. This is the ultimate in bad Sci-Fi. Confusing stupid and insulting to anyone who watched this . I'm off to watch Space:- Above and Beyond. That show was better, and admitting that is almost painful.
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